The Rules of Christianity

I have come to realize that there are certain things that Christians tend to do and say, mostly for the purposes of having other people know that they are Christians. There is a whole big expectation of things that Christians are "supposed" to do. I grew up in the Conservative Baptist church of the USA, so for years I was taught that you couldn't drink, smoke, dance, or listen to secular music (heaven forbid it be rock'n'roll!) and be a Christian. Had to have a "daily quiet time," and it had to be first thing in the morning. Had to have a ready answer to the Christian school principal's question of "How's your walk with God lately?" and God forbid it be anything except a verbatim quotation of the scripture that you'd read that very morning.

Christians are supposed to be involved with politics, but nothing as messy as giving a home to an unwed mother, adopting a child, or donating one's time or money to the Crisis Pregnancy Centers. No, it's much easier to simply picket outside the abortion clinic, and say ugly things to and about women who wear "I Had an Abortion" t-shirts. One of my closest childhood friends had an abortion, and she tells me it was the hardest thing she'd ever done -- not least because of the stigma and ostracism she knew she would face if she ever returned to the Christian community (which, to date, she has not done). She did tell me that my reaction of heartfelt sympathy went a long way towards helping her to heal from the wounding she experienced from other Christians about it.

Christians are supposed to show gay people the love of Christ, but at the same time make sure they know at all times what abominable sinners they are. Sure, put a huge weight of guilt, shame, and condemnation on 'em -- that'll lead 'em to Jesus for sure!

Lately there have been things added to the list of rules: Christians don't read Harry Potter. This reminds me of a very funny story about when my pastor and his wife came over to dinner once, and she was talking a mile a minute while he was perusing our bookshelves (don't ask me why). He noticed our boxed set of the Chronicles of Narnia, and drew her attention to it.

"Oh, what a great series that is!" she exclaimed, beaming. "Ever so much better than that nasty Harry Potter series--those books are nothing but occultic! Christians ought to have NO truck with the devil!" she told me with a wide smile and a decisive and self-righteous nod.

With a sweet smile, I pointed to our entire set of Harry Potter books. "Those are one shelf up," I told her. She changed the subject rather gracelessly, and I tried not to laugh. I doubt she has ever read any of them.

(I can assure you that my obsession and admiration for Professor Snape does not negatively impact my faith at all; in fact, with my great fondness for redemption stories, I think he illustrates the concepts very nicely.)

So it's apparently part of the rules that Christians have to have other people do their thinking for them. They aren't allowed to read books that other Christians say are bad; they aren't allowed to watch movies with any sex, swears, or nudity (although violence seems to be universally accepted; I wonder why the double standard?); they aren't allowed to do, say, think, or experience anything for themselves that they've heard other Christians say are bad for any reason.

The upshot of this is that Christians seem to have their own little sub-culture wherein they can stay happy and comfortable -- and be perfectly worthless and useless to the outside world around them. And woe to any Christians who break the "rules" -- they get castigated by all the rule-followers and accused of not even being Christians. It's as if, to be a Christian, you're supposed to just ignore all the ugly and gritty aspects of living in the world, in favor of keeping up appearances and pretending everything is fine. And if you don't pretend everything is fine, then you ARE the problem.

Might as well move to Pleasantville.

Missionaries and Respect for the Native Culture

I found this comment on another blog, and it struck home for me. The commenter, Egana, said: If we were missionaries in a foreign culture, we would be very careful to learn the ins and outs of that culture for the sake of our representation of Christ to them. So how does one reconcile Biblical mandates and cultural expectations in ones own native culture, for the sake of the gospel?

If foreign missionaries go to school, classes, and have intensive, in-depth studies on how to relate to whatever culture they're going into -- and how best to introduce the gospel in that particular culture -- then why, oh, why, don't home missionaries have the same thing?

Considering that every single one of us is a missionary either home or abroad, we really must find a way to talk about Jesus without making the surrounding culture hate us. If missionaries have to make cultural adjustments abroad, then we should have to make them at home as well. What is the very best way in the world to share the gospel with other people? The way that Jesus Himself used: through relationships and friendships. We can't be afraid to make friends with the unbelievers, the way so many Christians are. Jesus wasn't afraid to. Why are we?

Also, foreign missionaries don't push their beliefs onto the natives. Why do we? They don't picket in front of the foreign city halls for the land to change its laws -- they know they are the foreigners, the guests, of that country. So are we, as believers in Christ. They work through befriending others and gradually introducing those people to Christ through their own examples and their own lives. So should we. They don't have smear campaigns complaining about the leaders of those countries; neither should we. They work, within their own circle of people, to change hearts through loving others. So should we.

I'm not saying that Christians shoudn't be involved with politics. I'm saying that in the USA, our involvement is all wrong. What good does it do to picket in front of an abortion clinic -- all it does is make people mad. Is that what we want them to think about people who follow Christ? It does far more good to actually befriend the young, unwed mothers; that way, not only do they actually get to see the love of Christ instead of seeing a bunch of self-righteous Christians yelling hateful things at them, but you also get a chance to offer them other solutions (Crisis Pregnancy Center, anyone?) that they may not be able to find on their own.

Why do so many pastors preach sermons on how much God hates homosexuality? News flash: God hates ALL sin. Luckily for us, he loves all the sinners, up to and yes, even including, the homosexuals. What good does it do to tell a homosexual that s/he's a sinner? Unless it's in the context of everyone being a sinner, and that everyone struggles with sin, but that God can save us from its ultimate consequences -- it does no good, and lately gets you called homophobic. It does a heck of a lot more good to actually befriend the gay people; get to know them, and demonstrate God's love for them; that way, not only can you justly and scornfully refute charges of hate speech, but also disproves the "homophobic" accusation. And even if they never come to Christ, you'll have made some good friends.

When I was growing up, I used to hear the catchphrase all the time: "Christianity isn't a religion; it's a relationship." Unfortunately, I did not see that relationship demonstrated very much as I was growing up. And now that I have grown up, I have come to realize that, alas, the Christianity that most of us are familiar with is a religion, and that there is far too little relationship of any sort involved with it.

Truly following Christ has nothing of the religion aspect to it. Truly followng Christ is ALL about relationships: us with God, and us with other people.

If you are not loving others, befriending them, getting to know them, and helping them "bear their burdens," then you're not really witnessing. And if you're not showing respect for the culture that you're a missionary in -- even if it's your own! -- then you're probably just turning people off.