Pro Deo Sum

Organic Church article

2008-04-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

My good friend Dena sent me this a few days ago. None of this is original to me except these two top sentences. This was written by Wayne Jacobson a few years back:

Dear Fellow-believer,

I do appreciate your concern for me and your willingness to raise
issues that have caused you concern. I know the way I relate to the
church is a bit unconventional and some even call it dangerous.
Believe me, I understand that concern because I used to think that
way myself and even taught others to as well.

If you are happy with the status quo of organized religion today, you
may not like what you read here. My purpose is not to convince you to
see this incredible church the same way I do, but to answer your
questions as openly and honestly as I can. Even if we don't end up
agreeing, hopefully you will understand that our differences need not
estrange us as members of Christ's body.

Where do you go to church?

I have never liked this question, even when I was able to answer it
with a specific organization. I know what it means culturally, but it
is based on a false premise--that church is something you can go to
as in a specific event, location or organized group. I think Jesus
looks at the church quite differently. He didn't talk about it as a
place to go to, but a way of living in relationship to him and to
other followers of his.

Asking me where I go to church is like asking me where I go to
Jacobsen. How do I answer that? I am a Jacobsen and where I go a
Jacobsen is. 'Church' is that kind of word. It doesn't identify a
location or an institution. It describes a people and how they relate
to each other. If we lose sight of that, our understanding of the
church will be distorted and we'll miss out on much of its joy.

Are you just trying to avoid the question?

I know it may only sound like quibbling over words, but words are
important. When we only ascribe the term 'church' to weekend
gatherings or institutions that have organized themselves
as 'churches' we miss out on what it means to live as Christ's body.
It will give us a false sense of security to think that by attending
a meeting once a week we are participating in God's church.
Conversely I hear people talk about 'leaving the church' when they
stop attending a specific congregation.

But if the church is something we are, not someplace we go, how can
we leave it unless we abandon Christ himself? And if I think only of
a specific congregation as my part of the church, haven't I separated
myself from a host of other brothers and sisters that do not attend
the same one I do?

The idea that those who gather on Sunday mornings to watch a praise
concert and listen to a teaching are part of the church and those who
do not, are not, would be foreign to Jesus. The issue is not where we
are at a given time during the weekend, but how we are living in him
and with other believers all week long.

But don't we need regular fellowship?

I wouldn't say we need it. If we were in a place where we couldn't
find other believers, Jesus certainly would be able to take care of
us. Thus, I'd phrase that a bit differently: Will people who are
growing to know the Living God also desire real and meaningful
connections with other believers? Absolutely! The call to the kingdom
is not a call to isolation. Every person I've ever met who is
thriving in the life of Jesus has a desire to share authentic
fellowship with other believers. They realize that whatever they know
of God's life is just in part, and only the fullest revelation of him
is in the church.

But sometimes that kind of fellowship is not easy to find.
Periodically on this journey we may go through times when we can't
seem to find any other believers who share our hunger. That's
especially true for those who find that conforming to the
expectations of the religious institutions around them diminishes
their relationship with Jesus. They may find themselves excluded by
believers with whom they've shared close friendship. But no one going
through that looks on that time as a treat. It is incredibly painful
and they will look for other hungry believers to share the journey
with.

My favorite expression of body life is where a local group of people
chooses to walk together for a bit of the journey by cultivating
close friendships and learning how to listen to God together.

Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship?

That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in
the Bible somewhere. I haven't found it yet. Many of us have been led
to believe that we can't possibly survive without the 'covering of
the body' and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But
doesn't that happen inside our local congregations as well?

I know many people who live outside those structures and find not
only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections
with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the
institution. I haven't lost any of my passion for Jesus or my
affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and
bounds in recent years.

Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not
committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or
three people get together focused on him, they would experience the
vitality of church life.

Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that
reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that
fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event
together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same
organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of
knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine
concern about each other's spiritual well being and encouragement for
people to follow Jesus however he leads them.

But don't our institutions keep us from error?

I'm sorry to burst your bubble here, but every major heresy that has
been inflicted on God's people for the last 2,000 years has come from
organized groups with 'leaders' who thought they knew God's mind
better than anyone around them. Conversely, virtually every move of
God among people hungering for him was rejected by the 'church' of
that day and were excluded, excommunicated or executed for following
God.

If that is where you hope to find security, I'm afraid it is sorely
misplaced. Jesus didn't tell us that 'going to church' would keep us
safe, but that trusting him would. He gave us an anointing of the
Spirit so that we would know the difference between truth and error.
That anointing is cultivated as we learn his ways in his Word and
grow closer to his heart. It will help you recognize when expressions
of church you share life with becomes destructive to his work in you.

So are traditional congregations wrong?

Absolutely not! I have found many of them with people who love God
and are seeking to grow in his ways. I visit a couple of dozen
different congregations a year that I find are far more centered on
relationship than religion. Jesus is at the center of their life
together, and those who act as leaders are true servants and not
playing politics of leadership, so that all are encouraged to
minister to one another.

I pray that even more of them are renewed in a passion for Jesus, a
genuine concern for each other and a willingness to serve the world
with God's love. But I think we'd have to admit that these are rare
in our communities and many only last for a short span before they
unwittingly look to institutional answers for the needs of the body
instead of remaining dependent on Jesus. When that happens do not
feel condemned if God leads you not to go along with them.

So should I stop going to church, too?

I'm afraid that question also misses the point. You see I don't
believe you're going to church any more than I am. We're just part of
it. Be your part, however Jesus calls you to and wherever he places
you. Not all of us grow in the same environment.

If you gather with a group of believers at a specific time and place
and that participation helps you grow closer to Jesus and allows you
to follow his work in you, by all means don't think you have to
leave. Keep in mind, however, that of itself is not the church. It is
just one of many expressions of it in the place where you live.

Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its
meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God
connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can
build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this
journey.

That can happen among traditional congregations, as it can also
happen beyond them. In the last seven years I've meet hundreds if not
thousands of people who have grown disillusioned with traditional
congregations and are thriving spiritually as they share God's life
with others, mostly in their homes.

Then meeting in homes is the answer?

Of course not. But let's be clear: as fun as it is to enjoy large
group worship and even be instructed by gifted teachers, the real joy
of body life can't be shared in huge groups. The church for its first
300 years found the home the perfect place to gather. They are much
more suited to the dynamics of family which is how Jesus described
his body.

But meeting in homes is no cure-all. I've been to some very sick home
meetings and met in facilities with groups who shared an authentic
body life together. But the time I spend in regular body life I want
to spend face to face with a group of people. I know it isn't popular
today where people find it is far easier to sit through a finely-
tuned (or not so finely-tuned) service and go home without ever
having to open up our life or care about another person's journey.

But ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how they meet,
but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping
each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the
issue here than the quality of relationships. I am always looking for
people like that wherever I am and always rejoice when I find it. In
our new home in Oxnard, we've found a few folks and are hopeful to
find even more.

Aren't you just reacting out of hurt?

I suppose that is possible and time will tell, I guess, but I
honestly don't believe so. Anyone who is engaged in real body life
will get hurt at times. But there are two kinds of hurt. There's the
kind of pain that points to a problem that can be fixed with the
right care—such as a badly sprained ankle. Then there's the kind of
pain that can only be fixed by pulling away—as when you put your hand
on a hot stove.

Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have
tried to fit God's life into institutions. For a long time most of us
hung in there hoping if we tweaked a few things it would get better.
Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of
renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an
institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ are
at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group
formed throughout the history of Christianity.

Are you looking for the perfect church?

No, and I don't anticipate finding one this side of eternity.
Perfection is not my goal, but finding people with God's priorities.
It's one thing for people to struggle toward an ideal they share
together. It's another to realize that our ideals have little in
common.

I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state
of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are
nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual
connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a
growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on
Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the
institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the
foot of the cross!

I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as
a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest
of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those
who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no
compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people
using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will
manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more
filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love
and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an
efficient institution.

But don't our children need church activities?

I'd suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God's
life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of
children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-
powered entertainment, leave 'church' when they leave their parents'
home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need
to demonstrate how to live in God's life together.

Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a
child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal
friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that
role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of
sharing God's life together as families could say that they had not
lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut
across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children
experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and
whistles of a slick children's program.

What dynamics of body life do you look for?

I'm always looking for a people who are seeking to follow the Living
Christ. He is at the center of their lives, their affections and
their conversation. They look to be authentic and free others to hurt
when they hurt, to question what they question and to follow his
voice without others accusing them of being divisive or rebellious. I
look for people who are not wasting their money on extravagant
buildings or flashy programs; where people sitting next to each other
are not strangers; and where they all participate as a priesthood to
God instead of watch passively from a safe distance.

Aren't you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?

I hope not, though I know it is a danger. I realize some people who
leave traditional congregations end up abusing that freedom to
satisfy their own desires and thus miss out on church life
altogether. Neither am I a fan of 'church hoppers', who whip around
to one place after another looking for the latest fad or the best
opportunity to fulfill their own selfish desires.

But most of the people I meet and talk with are not outside the
system because they have lost their passion for Jesus or his people,
but only because the traditional congregations near them couldn't
satisfy their hunger for relationship. They are seeking authentic
expressions of body life and pay an incredible cost to seek it out.
Believe me, we would all find it easier just to go with the flow, but
once you've tasted of living fellowship between passionate believers,
it is impossible to settle for anything less.

Isn't this view of church divisive?

Not of itself. People make it divisive when they demand that people
conform to their revelation of truth. Most of us on the journey are
accused of being divisive because freedom can be threatening to those
who find their security in a religious system. But must of us aren't
trying to recruit others to leave their congregations. We see the
body of Christ big enough to encompass God's people however he calls
them to gather.

One of the things often said about traditional church is that Sunday
morning is the most segregated hour in American culture. We only meet
with people who look like we do and like things the way we do. I've
found now that I have far more opportunity to get with people from a
broader cross-section of his body. I don't demand others do it my way
and I hope in time that those who see it differently will stop
demanding we conform to theirs.

Where can I find that kind of fellowship?

There's no easy answer here. It might be right in front of you among
the fellowship you're already in. It might be down the street in your
neighborhood or across a cubicle at work. You can also get involved
in compassionate outreaches to the needy and broken in your locality
as a way to live out his life in you and meet others with a similar
hunger.

Don't expect this kind of fellowship to fall easily into an
organization. It is organic, and Jesus can lead you to it right where
you are. Look for him to put a dozen or so folks around your life
with whom you can share the journey. They may not even all go to the
same congregation you do. They might be neighbors or coworkers who
are following after God. Wouldn't that kind of interconnection among
God's people yield some incredible fruit?

Don't expect it to be easy or run smoothly. It will take some
specific choices on our part to be obedient to Jesus. It may take
some training to shake off old habits and be free to let him build
his community around you, but it is all worth it. I know it bothers
some people that I don't take my regular place in a pew on Sunday
morning, but I can tell you absolutely that my worst days outside
organized religion are still better than my best days inside it. To
me the difference is like listening to someone talk about golf or
actually taking a set of clubs out to a course and playing golf.
Being his church is like that. In our day we don't need more talk
about the church, but people who are simply ready to live in its
reality.

People all over the world are freshly discovering how to do that
again. You can be one of them as you let him place you in his body as
he desires.

My New Favorite Top Ten List

2008-04-17T08:10:00.001-07:00

Written no doubt as a backlash against so-called "Christian" patriarchy, this list (found on google) both amused and vindicated me. (I particularly loved the Judas/Eve comparison!)

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Should Not be Ordained

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained (think David Letterman)

10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

Being Church

2008-04-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

My husband and I used to attend the Assemblies of God church that I've complained about in earlier entries. Tonight we had some friends over from that church -- beautiful people whom we love a lot -- and spent some time talking about the goings-on at that church since we left it.

They mentioned one time during this very snowy winter when the church service was canceled, and in a knee-jerk reaction I said, "Oh, we should have gone!"

The one time we enjoyed that church more than any other time was once when the service was canceled due to snow, and we didn't hear about it in time. We went anyway, and so did perhaps a dozen other people. It was the best time we've ever had at that church! Someone put on some music in the sanctuary, and a couple of people went in there to pray and worship in song. One woman danced in worship, someone whom I've never seen dance during the "worship service" at all. A lot of us hung out in the lobby, just chatting and shooting the breeze. I started talking with a woman whom I'd been wanting to get to know for a while, but we just hadn't clicked yet. She and I talked for a good hour, getting to know each other and finding out how much we had in common. It was great... and more to the point, it was church.

During the time when our attendance was trailing off, Grey went to church by himself one morning. There was the usual bellowing guy, the red-haired Southern woman hollering out some "prophesy" full of thees and thous (because everyone knows that's how God really talks, right?), and Grey got fed up and walked out before the singing had even ended.

A woman driving past had stopped right across the street. Her car tire had blown out, and there was something else wrong with her car; it wouldn't start. Grey went over to see if he could help. He ended up changing her tire for her, and then used his own AAA card to call for a tow truck. He even waited for the tow-truck with her. She thanked him profusely and drove away.

A week later, Grey got mail from this lady, who had heard him giving his name and address to the AAA rep in the tow truck. She send him a thank-you card with a gift certificate in it, and asked for God to bless him.

It's ironic that Grey got the opportunity to BE church for this woman only after he had become fed up with "church" and walked out. I'm sure many of the congregants still sitting in there were judging Grey as somehow less-holy-than-they, for walking out, but the fact is that he was obviously supposed to leave when he did, and he got an opportunity to serve that they were denied.

Moral of the story: it is far more important to BE church than to "go to church."

The "Word" of God

2008-03-29T07:44:00.000-07:00

A blog article by Darin Hufford, about the Bible, quoted here in its entirety (none of this is original to me, but someone emailed it to me and I thought it worth sharing):

The Bible Blog

Just about everywhere I go when I am traveling, I always ask the same set of questions to the audience I am preaching to: "How many of you feel like you probably don't read your Bible as much as you should?". With every congregation, regardless of the denomination, almost every hand in the building goes up. I then ask, "How many of you feel self conscious about your knowledge of the Scriptures?". Again, every hand in the building is raised. The last question I ask them is, "How many of you feel condemned in your spirit every time the subject of Bible reading comes up?". All the hands go up again.

I ask these questions because after years of feeling this way in my own walk, I began to suspect that I wasn't alone. As I speak with people from all over the world about this subject I have become more and more convinced that the Christian teachings about the Bible are quite possibly the main cause of condemnation and oppression in the body of Christ today. I don't believe that I have ever met another Christian brother or sister who is not under some sort of religious bondage when it comes to the issue of Bible reading.

The following article will either challenge you and set you free, or infuriate you and cause you to shut down. Some people who read this will copy it and send it to everyone they know, and others won't make it half way through the first page before tearing it up and burning it. Some will call me a hero while others will call me a heretic. All I ask is that while you read this; sincerely THINK ABOUT IT.Â Don't just shut down out of religious obligation to not listen to anything that doesn't sound like what you have been taught all your life.

I will separate this into three parts because it's unusually long. My hope is that this will be a blog that people will copy and email to all their friends and family members. If you copy the link and paste it to an email, you can send this too literally thousands of people who NEED to read this. Help me get this message out to the world!

Disclaimer

Before we get started I would like to plainly state that I firmly believe that the Bible is inspired by the Spirit of God. I don't question it's authenticity for one moment. I have read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation at least 10 times, and in no less than 5 translations. I've spent hundreds of hours in Bible college classes and thousands more studying on my own. I've read commentaries on almost every book of the Bible and have personally taught on every single book in the Old Testament and New Testament. I've studied Greek and I've studied Hebrew. For many years of my life, I spent an average of about 7 hours a day doing nothing but reading and studying this wonderful book. I would even purposefully fall asleep listening to the Bible on tape so I could completely memorize entire books. I say all that to say this: I respect the Bible and I hold it close to my heart. There is no other book in the world like it; the content in the Bible is absolutely life changing.

What I am about to say in this article is strictly on behalf of PEOPLE. Though I love the Bible and all it has to offer; I love people even more, and nothing grieves my heart more than to watch people being hurt or condemned by what has been taught to them concerning the Bible. This goes out to everyone who just needs a break from the constant guilt they feel for not being as faithful to the Bible as people have told them they should be. I write this to the person who is riddled with insecurity every time a conversation comes up about particular stories or passages they feel they should know, but don't. This is for the one who has basically given up on hearing the voice of God in your life because you can't understand the Shakespearian dialect or the theological principals of the original Greek or Hebrew. More than anything I want to bring a breath of fresh air to those of you who feel like you're a million miles behind other Christians because you haven't spent the time that they have reading and studying your Bible.

The Great Exchange

At the end of Gideon's "deliverance career" the Israelites wanted to make him their king. Gideon refused, and said that instead of becoming their king he would like them to each bring him a gold ear ring from the plunder. Everyone brought a portion of gold and Gideon melted it down and made a "golden Ephod". The Ephod was the vest that the priests put on when they entered the Holy of Holies. In the pocket of the Ephod were the lots, which were used when they "caste lots" in order to determine God's will in a certain situation. When the priest entered the temple wearing the golden Ephod, he could actually hear the voice of God audibly. You might remember one time when King David told the priests to "bring him the golden Ephod". David put it on and went into the temple to ask God whether or not he should attack the Amalakites. David heard the audible voice of God tell him to attack.

The story of Gideon goes on to say that after the golden Ephod was made, "all of Israel prostituted themselves by worshiping the Ephod". Think of that for a moment. They actually worshiped the way in which to determine God's will over worshiping God Himself. The story later goes on to say that it became a snare to Gideon and his family.

So what does this have to do with the Bible? One of the things we are taught about the Bible is that it is the way in which to determine the will of God. I believe that just as the Israelites prostituted themselves after the golden Ephod, modern day Christians do the exact same with the Bible. We have prostituted ourselves after the Bible and there is no doubt in my mind that it has become a thorn and a snare to almost every Christian in America. In fact I think many Christians have actually traded God for the Bible. Many others have even come to the point where they think God IS the Bible! I truly believe that the Bible has become the "golden Ephod" of our time.

Who's Your Daddy?

It's interesting to me that we actually call the Bible "The Word of God". The Bible doesn't make that claim about itself. In the book of John it says: "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God", but then it goes on to say, "The Word became flesh". The Bible outright tells us that JESUS is the Word, not the Bible! There wasn't even a Bible put together when this passage was written. When we teach people that the Bible is "The Word" we are flat out exchanging Christ for the Bible.

I want you to imagine what goes through the mind of Christ when he sees churches call themselves "Bible Churches". Think about that for a moment. Christ Himself said "I will build MY Church" and today we have "Bible Churches" in every city of America. The name alone gives our intentions and true feelings away. We are no different in this generation from the Pharisees in Jesus' day. They had a very similar view of their Old Testament scriptures. Jesus confronted them and said, "You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life." (John 5:39-40). The Pharisees were making the same trade that millions of Christians have made today. Another point about this passage is that Jesus clearly makes a distinction between "studying the Scriptures" and "coming to Him".

Most Christians believe with all their heart that a person is not even saved unless they "believe in the Bible". Churches advertise themselves as being a "Bible believing Church". Toss that around in your head for awhile and truly think about it. Where in the Bible does it say that we have to "believe in the Bible" in order to be saved? It does say to believe in Christ, but for some reason we have raised belief in the Bible to the same spiritual level as believing in Christ Himself. In the New Testament times the Christians met together to study God, and today when we meet together in someoneâ€™s home it's for a Bible study. If the Bible isn't brought out and studied at some point in the evening the entire event is looked upon as an unspiritual waste of time.

I understand that most of us have never stopped to think about these things, but if you step back and take an honest look at the landscape of our religion, I think you'll be surprised at how right I am. The American Christian system has wholeheartedly exchanged God for the Bible! This is precisely why so many sincere hearted people go into a full fledged panic attack the moment anyone suggests that there might be errors or discrepancies in the Bible. Most Christians will outright tell you that to even entertain such a thought is blasphemy. Because we have made the "God exchange" we have to insist that the Bible now takes on the attributes of God Himself. This is why it is imperative that everyone believe the Bible is infallible. It is equally grieving to my heart when I hear people say things like, "If there is even one thing wrong in the Bible, our entire faith is worthless". Their entire existence as a Christian stands on the belief that there are no errors in Scripture. If they were to be shown a true discrepancy in Scripture that could not be explained away, it would literally cause their entire religion to come caving in on them. I've heard people openly admit, "If you can't believe it all, you can't believe any of it". Their entire faith stands on Scripture instead of Christ. Make no mistake about it, there has been an exchange of monumental proportions!

This is why so many Christians judge the strength and status of their Christian walk by how much time they spend reading their Bible. It seems to be a constant thorn in the side of every single Christian I know. They always feel guilty for not studying it every day of their life. They just know that God is upset with them for not reading it more. The cycle goes on and on until it becomes a permanent snare in their walk. The looming shadow of performance based Christianity is always there to put them in their place the moment they feel a shred of confidence, contentment or joy. What's worse is that every one of us are set up for emanate failure. We are constantly pressured to "be in the Word" but we are never told how much is enough. No matter how much time we spend studying it; it's never enough. If we read it one hour, we could have read it two. If we read it eight hours, we could have read it nine. No matter what we do, we're always left feeling like we fell short. It's almost like it was set up that way in order to prevent growth of any kind in our lives and to keep us down.

Let me be the first to say that I am sick of it!

I am quite honestly sick of all the manipulation and oppression that has been put on people in the name of religion. I'm sick of all the half truths and outright lies that have been made up about the Bible in order to force people to submit and serve their local church. I'm sick of the guilt and condemnation that so many people live with because they can't keep up with the rigorous demands of an impossible system. And most of all, I'm sick of the empty (and quite frankly the unbiblical) promises concerning what the Bible's purpose is in our lives. Most of the things we are taught about the Bible are found NOWHERE in the Bible; they come from a religious spirit that seeks to whittle people down to a spiritual nub in an effort to gain control over their minds. Without a doubt, this wonderful book has been used to cuff the spirits of millions of sincere hearted people who honestly want to connect with God's Heart.

The Irony of "Bible believing Churches"

The thing that perplexes me more than anything else concerning this subject is the fact that Churches who hold up the Bible as their ultimate guide in life, almost never follow a single thing in it. Every time I hear a pastor thunder that, "We do everything according to the Word of God in this Church.", I am always puzzled as to what exactly he is talking about. In fact, I've struggled to find just one thing that we practice in modern day Institutional Churches that coincides with Scripture.

Where in the Bible did they have "Worship Services" lead by a "Worship Leader"? Perhaps you might find a few places in the Old Testament where something similar might have occurred, however in the New Testament it simply never happened. Almost every church in America promotes "Corporate Worship" as though it's a Scriptural principal that we all must adhere to. This is simply not found in the New Testament Church.

Every mention of "Worship" in the New Testament was in reference to it being a private intimate matter between each individual believer and God. Paul said to "sing and make music in your hearts". Ironically, even worship leaders know that this is true. They will almost always tell everyone in the room to "forget about everyone around them and get alone with God" before the service even starts. They know this, however they insist that everyone meet together to do it.

Where in the Bible do we find "Youth Leaders" who are specifically paid to lead the younger people in the Church? For that matter, where in the New Testament did they EVER separate families the moment they walked through the door of a Church? The fact that we do this in modern day institutions is absolutely flabbergasting! This practice entirely defeats the purpose and picture of what Church is all about. Ironically the same pastor, who signs the paycheck of the Youth Leader and Child Care Workers, also preaches that "The Family is the most intimate form of Church". Separating those families before church begins is not only unbiblical, but it's down right destructive.

Did the New Testament Church have a stage? Of course they didn't. The Church experience in the Bible times was not a spectator sport. It was about participation, interaction and fellowship. Today, fellowship is that block of five minutes you might get to say hello or goodbye in the foyer once the show is over. Church in the New Testament was never a play. There was no stage with lights, video and sound systems. It's become so much of a "show mentality" that when we now start a new ministry within the Church we call it a "Program". That alone should cause us to stop and think about what we're doing.

The things we promote and encourage are also nowhere to be found in the Bible. When did the New Testament Christians do "Outreaches"? When was "Group Prayer" or "Prayer Chains" preached in New Testament times? What about "Tithing"? Did Paul tell the people to pay 10% of their income to the Church? NEVER! We have built an entire religion around the infamous "Sinners Prayer" that we try with all our might to get people to recite, however there is no "Sinners Prayer" anywhere in Scripture. Believe it or not, the word "Trinity" isn't there either. Most, if not all Christian Churches today won't even acknowledge your salvation unless you believe in that one. Many Churches have "Alter Calls" at the end of their service where they push and push everyone to come to the alter and meet with God regarding their problems. You guessed it; it's not in the Bible! What New Testament Church had a "Board" that the Pastor had to answer to? Where was "Associate Pastor", "Marriage Pastor", "Prayer Pastor", or any of our other new concepts of "Pastor" found in the Bible? Did the Pastors in the Bible preach a sermon every week? NO! In fact, the people met every day, not every week; and when they did meet, THEY brought songs to sing, and THEY spoke the word of the Lord to each other. Though I could go on and on, I'll finish this section with the big one: At what point did Sunday become "God's Day"? If anything, the Sabbath day was Saturday.

I am not saying that any of these things are wrong. In fact, I personally don't have a problem with most of them. I don't think God does either. My point is this: DON'T SAY YOU DO EVERYTHING BY THE BIBLE!!!! Very little of what we do in modern day church has anything at all to do with the Bible. Why should it? The New Testament Church didn't even have a Bible.

Acknowledging the Purpose of Scripture

Several months ago I took my wife and kids to Disney Land. Just before we left the house I used "Map Quest" to get directions. After typing in my home address and the address of Disney Land I was printing out step by step directions that even a monkey could follow. Together my wife and I followed the map to a "T" and in just six hours we were standing at the entrance of Disney Land with four ecstatic little girls.

Now I want you to read this next part slowly and think about it.

If you were to come looking for my family inside of Disney Land about an hour after we entered the park, what are the chances you would find us all sitting on a bench by the Dumbo ride, studying the map? This is exactly what the Christian world looks like today. It's a day at Disney Land were thousands of people have filled the park. However, all the rides are empty, there are no lines at the restaurants, no one is paying attention to the characters walking around and the light parade goes unnoticed. Why? Because everyone is sitting around in clusters studying the map and going over how they got there.

The purpose of the Bible is to lead us to Christ, who is LOVE IN THE FLESH. For some reason however, we have gotten the idea that once we have found Christ, we must continue to study the map. To take it a step further, we have even taught people that their entire relationship with Christ is now lived out through reading the Bible! If this were true, you would think that in all of Jesus' teachings and preachings, He would have at least ONCE stopped midway in one of his sermons and said, "Oh and by the way, in about forty years from now a bunch of guys are going to write letters back and forth to each other and in about three hundred and fifty years from now those letters are going to be bound in a book, and if you don't read it everyday of your life YOU WILL NEVER KNOW GOD".

Why didn't the Apostle Paul tell the churches he wrote letters to that they had to read and re-read and study and meditate on those letters over and over for the rest of their lives in order to grow in the Lord? If our daily Bible reading were as important as we have been told it is today; why wasn't it mentioned even once by one of the authors in the New Testament? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, Jude, James, Paul, never once told us that we had to make the reading of their letters a daily religious ritual. You would think that someone would have written about it if it was really as important as we teach today.

What did all those Christians after Paul's time do to have a relationship with God? After Christ returned to heaven, there were almost fifteen hundred years worth of Christians who didn't have a Bible in their home. How in the world did they keep their heads above water without a Bible to study every day? Why would God send His only Son into the world to live a perfect life, die for our sins and be raised to life again almost fifteen hundred years before the printing press was invented if the Bible was the route we humans were to take to have relationship with God? How is that a better covenant than what Moses had? God spoke with Moses face to face and now after Jesus was crucified, we have to relate to Him through a book. Does that sound right to you?

It's interesting to me that we tell people that the way they get close to God is by reading their Bible regularly. The Pharisees not only did this, but they went on to memorize large portions of Scripture and even wore articles of clothing to remind them daily of what they had read. However, when God stood right in front of them in the flesh, they didn't recognize Him from Adam. Jesus later told the people that the two most important commandments were to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul" and that "the second commandment is like the firstâ€¦â€¦â€¦Love your neighbor as yourself". Then he said, "All of the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments". He was literally saying that if you love, you will BECOME the Bible! You can put it down and walk away from it forever because LOVE is the embodiment of the entire Bible! Once again: the purpose of the Bible is to lead us to Christ. Who is Christ? Love in the flesh!

I do not need a "post it note" on my refrigerator reminding me not to murder my wife and kids. Why? Because I love them and that law is so far beneath me, it doesn't even apply to me. THE LAW IS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LOVE. When you know Christ, you know love and when you know love, you are no longer a "spreader of the message"; YOU BECOME THE MESSAGE.

The Consequences of the Trade

Our teachings about the Bible and it's purpose in our lives have basically made us a generation of dead people. Since we don't believe we can hear God on our own without the Bible, we find ourselves searching the Scriptures to find out whether something is right or wrong and we don't even stop to look into our own heart and ask ourselves.

I honestly believe that out of this zombie and lifeless belief system, we have no other option but to blindly stumble throughout life clinging to our "WWJD" bracelet in hopes that we can survive yet another day. It's a very depressing time we live in when we have to stop everything and analyze what Jesus would do in this situation or that before we act. It's fake. It's scripted and it's from the head. Even Charles Manson can do that. Do you think that Satan worshipers need to wear a "WWSD" bracelet so they'll know how to act in certain situations? Of course not! If you cut a Satan worshiper off on the freeway, he doesn't need to ponder how Satan would react. He literally BECOMES Satan right there in the middle of the freeway! Yet we have Christians today who only know ABOUT Jesus because they read about Him in a book. He's a character in the Bible that they've been told to do their best to study and mimic.

When tragedy or hardship comes into their life they have no other choice but to "STAND ON SCRIPTURE" and hope for the best. Because there is no real relationship established beyond what they read in the book, they can only quote the book to the Author in hopes that He will recognize the passage and honor what He said. I personally know hundreds of Christians who spend their entire life standing on this Scripture or that in an effort to get what they want. It's all they have. There is nothing beyond the words they read in the book. Their relationship is not with God; it's with their Bible.

This teaching about the Bible ultimately causes people to retreat from relationship with God. If you think it through you'll find that a personal relationship with Him isn't even needed anymore. In fact, if some people could have their way, they would just have God pack up and leave Heaven altogether. The Bible is basically "Auto Pilot" for Heaven. God doesn't even have to think anymore. If it's in the Bible He has no choice but to do it. And He has covered everything in the Bible so Heaven should pretty much run itself from this point on. And we wonder why people today have no real intimacy with the Father. Listening to many Christians "witness" in today's age is perhaps the most grueling experience I can think of. So often it seems that their entire witness is based on what they have read in a book. Just because you read about a crime in the paper, doesn't mean that you can go to court during the trial and be a witness. Sadly, that's what our religion has produced in recent years. A bunch of well read people who haven't really witnessed a thing.

Know Your Bible People!

I had a friend several years ago who was browsing through a book store when he noticed a young lady thumbing through one of my books on relationships. As he walked by her he leaned in and said, "Get that book, it will change your life". She smiled and thanked him for the tip. About three months later, this lady showed up to my church. She had read the book and found out that I was teaching locally, so she thought she would come to my group. She was excited to see my friend who had told her about the book, and immediately approached him and thanked him for telling her to buy it. He was terrified and embarrassed because he had not yet read the book himself. He didn't have the guts to tell her, so he just decided to act as if he had read it. After the service she wanted to stay and talk about relationships with my friend. Instead of just coming clean, he decided to just let himself go and talk about relationships from his heart. He was surprised that she didn't seem to catch on that he hadn't read the book.

Immediately after service he ran to the bookstore and bought a copy for himself. When he got home and started reading it he was absolutely amazed to find that during his conversation with this young lady, he had actually quoted entire sentence structures of my book, word for word, without even knowing it!Â How could he do that?

HE KNEW THE AUTHOR!

The problem with thinking we can know anyone personally through a book is that it's downright impossible. Books can only record what was said and what was done. If we try to define the inner Heart of God based on those things, we will be left with a heartless vending machine God who acts and responds the same way to everyone every time. His very personality and individuality gets lost in the translation.

If you were to follow me around for twenty years and write down everything I said and did during that time you would end up with a book the size of the phone book. If you looked on page 1339 and saw that I did this or that, and then turned to page 897 and found that I said this or that, you could come to the conclusion that if one of my children got out of bed after I put them down, I would break their legs. If you know me personally however, you'd know that I would never do that.

It's interesting that I have some people who have read every book I've ever written and listened to every teaching series I've ever taught, but they don't know me from Adam. If they were to try and enter my house I would call the police and slap a restraining order on them. Just because they've read my books and listened to my teachings, doesn't mean they know me personally.

I have other friends who haven't even opened ONE of my books, and have never listened to even thirty seconds of any teaching I've ever recorded, however they know me personally and I know them. My house is their house. My possessions are their possessions. How can this be? Simple; they love my children. When you love my kids, you will have found the quickest and most direct route to my heart!!

God is NOT in the Bible; He is in his Children. "If you love, you know God and you are known by Him. If you do not love, you do not know God, nor have you ever seen him".

Once you know the Author of the Bible, you have the Word living inside your heart! We have basically taught an entire generation of people that they have received a deaf, dumb and blind God. He's like a computer. When you get him home, you have to load Windows and a hundred other programs on Him before He's of any use. That's ridiculous! When you receive God's Spirit into your heart, you not only get Him, but you get all His Words as well.

The Truth Within You

Think about it. Have you ever had something in the Bible literally explode of the pages and blow your mind? The reason that happened is because it exploded from WITHIN you! It was already living inside of you. That's why your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you come across a truth in Scripture.

Sadly we subscribe to a religion that pretty much encourages people to have a relationship with their Bible over God Himself. It's like there is something within all of us that would rather spend time with an inanimate object then with a living being. This is why so many people don't have a problem making the trade. Real intimacy is intimidating to us.

Could you imagine a wife on her wedding night coming out of the bathroom dressed in a beautiful negligee ready to present herself to her husband for the first time, and he is sitting on the edge of the bed reading a letter she wrote to him ten years ago? She says, "Honey here I am, come over here", and he doesn't even look up because he's too busy reading the letter. That is exactly what I see in modern day Christianity! We have access to the real God and we insist on reading the letter over and over instead of actually connecting with Him.

Our teachings have turned the Bible into a spiritual walkie-talkie between us and God. We say things like, "The main way God speaks to us is through the Bible". When I became a Christian I was personally told that when I pray; it's me talking to God, and when I read my Bible; it's God talking to me. For the most part we have all been taught that unless we are reading the Bible we will never hear from God.

This raises a whole series of questions for me. First of all I would like to know where the Bible even says that. It's interesting that Scripture doesn't even make that claim about itself, yet we preach it like it's an age old truth that God Himself set up thousands of years ago. Most of us have heard it so many times that we don't even stop to question whether or not it's true. We have learned to just accept it as truth and do our best to keep up.

I am not suggesting that God can't speak to us through the Bible. He can speak to us anyway He chooses to. I'm just debating the mindset that believes that this is the PURPOSE of Scripture, and the main way He chooses to talk to us.

I heard one Pastor teach that God won't even tell us something if it's already written in the Bible because we can read it for ourselves. Hummmmâ€¦â€¦..What if you're illiterate? What if you're illiterate AND deaf, so you can't even listen to the Bible on tape? What if you're a prisoner of war without a Bible? What if you're a child and haven't learned to read yet? What if you're an elderly person and can't see the words? I know this sounds amusing, but if you really think about what we have been taught, it's absolutely comical.

Many people who are reading this are likely to say to themselves, "What about King David who said that he meditated on the Word night and day"?

First of all, when David meditated on the Word, he was meditating on THE LAW (the first five books of the Old Testament, otherwise known as the Pentateuch). Believe it or not; the Bible as we know it today does not refer to itself as "The Word of God". Any place where the term "The Word" is spoken about in Scripture, it's referring to THE LAW. That's what David meditated on night and day. He had too; David was not like you and me. He didn't have the Holy Spirit living inside of him. In our time, "The Word became Flesh" and now dwells among us. JESUS is the Word, not the Bible. If you have Jesus living in your Heart; you have the Word living in your heart. David's "Word" was only a shadow of what was to come. Imagine if all you were given was a shadow of something. You would have no choice but to study it from every possible angle in hopes that you might find out what was casting that shadow.

We have been given the very One who casts that shadow! Why in the world would we ever be tempted to study the shadow when the one who casts the shadow is standing right before us? Our teachings on the Bible have turned us into shadow chasers who refuse to acknowledge the Shadow Maker.

It is interesting that although David had to meditate on the Word night and day (and he clearly had a deep love and respect for it) when David needed to hear from God, he didn't turn to the Scriptures. He walked directly into the temple and confronted God himself. In fact, I have not found a single place in all of Scripture where anyone turned to Scripture in order to hear from God.

I think that understanding the purpose and value of a thing is extremely important. If I bought you a new car, and you thought that a car was to be used as a house, it wouldn't take more than a few days for your car to start stinking to high heavens. Until you understand that cars are made for transportation, you will never truly experience it's blessings. The same is true with the Bible. We have made declarations about it that have nothing to do with it's real purpose and value. This false understanding of what the Bible is for has caused us to become a spiritually retarded generation. Christian chat rooms and forums are filled every day of the week with people machine gunning Scriptures back and forth in heated debate. Some of us can't even talk normal anymore because our vocabulary is filled with King James quotations. Authors can't even make a spiritual point without having to "back it up" with Scripture. It's pretty sad when Christians who are filled with the Holy Spirit have to have a Scripture verse to back up a spiritual principal that even a child can understand. Unfortunately in today's Christian world we have been taught to think in Bible verses. We've become as soulless as computers.

The Deadly Blow

The nail in the coffin to all of this dysfunction and chaos comes the moment we swallow the equally devastating and destructive teaching that says, "Don't trust your heart".Â It comes from that Bible verse where Paul says "the heart is deceitful above all thingsâ€¦.."Â So now in addition to teaching us that we can't make one spiritual move without the Bible, we're also taught that we are supposed to shut ourselves down from our heart and refrain from any future consultations with it. This is preached all over America and it's a lie from the pit of Hell! I honestly believe that these two teachings together are a recipe for spiritual death.

Those who preach that we are not supposed to trust our heart have effectively sealed the fate of their listeners. Make no mistake about it; this is an extremely dark teaching that has nothing to do with the truth of God. To even entertain such an appalling idea is like swallowing a cyanide tablet into your soul. I believe that this terrible mentality is what has ultimately turned the Christian religion into a spiritual veal farm. The moment you buy into this absurdity you can NEVER know the Heart of God. All future possibilities of intimacy with Him are annihilated completely. It seals the separation between man and God and ultimately catapults us back to Old Testament times.

Come now, let us reason together. If we are not supposed to ever trust our hearts, how in the world can we ever know Him? Think about it for a moment. When you became a Christian; where did you ask Jesus to live? Your heart of course! What good would it be for the Spirit of Christ to live in your heart if you aren't allowed to "go there"? How could we ever forgive someone from our heart if we can't trust it? Why would God write His laws on the hearts of men if they were not allowed to consult that part of their being? Whey would the Bible tell us to "sing and make music in our hearts" if they were not to be trusted? We couldn't even fulfill the commandment that Jesus said was most important, "Love the Lord you God with all your heart, mind and soul". Jesus also said that "the Kingdom of Heaven is within you", and there is no doubt that He was speaking about our hearts. The irony of this is that this popular teaching tells us that we must rely only on the Bible and not on our hearts. If we can't trust our hearts, how will we ever be able to read and interpret the Bible properly? Wouldn't our deceptive hearts mess everything up and interpret it all wrong?

Trust me in this, the only part of us that is eternal and connected to God, is OUR HEARTS! It is a conspiracy from Satan himself to try to get every Christian person to deny themselves access and completely stop trusting their hearts. The very birth and life of a believer is lived out through the heart. This is why the Bible says "if you confess with your mouth AND BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART that Jesus Christ is Lord, you will be saved". The next time someone quotes that "The heart is deceitful" verse in an effort to get you to think from your head, you just remind them that when you believed in God's one and only Son, your heart was resurrected with Christ and you are a new creation.

Â These two teachings about the Bible and the heart of man completely rely on one another to survive. You MUST be heartless in order to buy the things you have been taught about the Bible and if you deny your heart; you definitely need the Bible in order to survive. A good friend of mine told someone he was ministering to, that "The very pipeline through which God intended to touch the world and reveal Himself to mankind is the very pipeline you have shut down to keep you from sinning". If you abandon your heart because you think only bad things come from it, keep in mind that you are also closing the door to things like, Love, Compassion, Relationship, Spirituality and a thousand other things you were created for.

Reasons to Read

I believe that there are many wonderful reasons to read the Bible without having to add to them in an effort to manipulate or control people.Â One of the greatest things that happens when you read it, is that it helps to connect your heart with your head. If the Word is living in the heart of a Christian; reading the Bible can cause the mind and the heart to become one. In other words, it will remind you of what already exists in your heart. Getting your head in line with your heart (for some people) is a full time job. When you read with your mind the words that exist in your heart, you become more and more aware of heart things, and you gain experience at being able to determine the difference.

I also think that knowing the history of our faith is extremely important. Understanding how it all happened and why you needed to be saved in the first place is absolutely essential. Scripture also gives us hundreds of accounts of different people's interactions with God from the beginning of time. It explains so much about our nature and what we are inclined to do on our own. The Bible really prepares us in many ways for life. It's full of heroes that inspire and motivate us. It's like watching a Rocky movie. When you come out of the theater, you're ready to conquer the world. Let's face it; we all need examples to rouse us into action.

There are also times in our lives when we just don't love. Even though the author of love Himself is living in our hearts; sometimes we purposefully decide to not go there. When we do this, the Bible is great because it sets us straight. The bottom line is, some of us go through moments in our life where we just need things written out in black and white. I can tell you that I'm so glad I've studied the Scriptures as much as I have. It's given me parameters in which to open my heart and live my life. On my off days when I'm not consulting my heart about a matter, I'm glad I have the black and white word for word passage that sets my momentarily blind self straight.

Many of us have a worldly view of what love is. Scripture is wonderful in this sense. It clearly draws a distinction between man's idea of love and the truth. When you read about the truth of what love is, you'll find little explosions taking place in your heart, and your head will immediately come into alignment with it. I think the Bible is great at teaching each and every one of us how to locate and find treasures within our heart. It's also a great corrective tool for us when we're just off our rocker and thinking purely human thoughts. It's great to know that in those moments, we have a safety net that's set in place to catch us and gently guide us back on the right path.

In a lot of ways, I look at the Bible as the teacher's manual. I think we are all supposed to do the work on our own, but it's great to know that when we come upon a problem or issue where we can't find the answer within us; we have the answers written down somewhere. I DON'T believe however, that we are supposed to live our lives carrying the teacher's manual around, just to get the answers without even searching our heart first.

I'll be completely honest with you. I understand why most Christians haven't read the Bible all the way through. We have made it a law. It's natural for humans to do the exact opposite of anything that becomes law. The moment we turned the Bible into something we HAD to read, we lost interest. With that in mind, I would like to say that I am still a bit mystified to find that there are millions of self proclaiming Christians who still haven't "read the book". I get why that happens, but it's still mind blowing to me. In the back of my mind I think that the reason why so many Christians don't seem to have the desire to read the Bible is because they were tricked into Christianity in the first place. I think many of us were shoved into it by manipulative fear tactics or religious emotionalism. I'll have to write about that in another blog.

I think that because we have made it such a SPIRITUAL thing, people start reading and then begin to wonder why they aren't getting the spiritual goose bumps they were told about; so they quit. Perhaps they feel like they're doing something wrong. My advice is this: read it anyway. Just sit down and read it from beginning to end. Read it like you would any other book. Don't expect a spiritual experience. It may or may not happen. If you are a Christian, read the book about Christ. If for no other reason at all; read it to say that you have. I think every Christian should read the Bible all the way through at least once. With so many crazy preachers out there, doesn't it make sense to have read the book so that you'll know for yourself whether or not what they are saying is right? Why put your life in someone else's hands? Wouldn't it be nice to know for sure if someone was pulling your leg or misquoting Scripture to get you to do something?

Here is a great verse that pretty much says it all in terms of why you should read your bible:

Â 2 Timothy 3:14 NIV

¹⁴But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, ¹⁵and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. ¹⁶All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Lies About Submission

2008-02-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

Here's a topic that came up recently on one of the message boards I frequent. What lies about submission have you been taught? I've sure been taught a lot of lies about submission! Many of them from Christian forums. Here are some that come to mind right away.

The husband is the boss of the wife.

The wife has to obey her husband.

Egalitarian marriage is a myth.

If the husband isn't in charge of the finances, he's rebelling against God.

If the wife works outside the home, she's rebelling against God, especially if she earns more than her husband does.

The wife should follow her husband except into sin. She lacks the discernment to know if something is sin or not, so she should just give him the benefit of the doubt and obey anyway.

A wife can't go wrong by obeying her husband.

If the husband beats his wife, it's because she isn't submissive enough.

If she questions his decision, she is usurping his authority and is engaging in witchcraft (rebellion).

All husbands want quiet, submissive, stay-at-home wives who raise the children and keep house perfectly... even if they say otherwise.

The male ego is fragile; a wife shouldn't be better than her husband at anything, or else he'll feel threatened.

Marriage should be based on a military model. The man giving the orders and the woman jumping to obey them. This is a relationship of "equals."

The husband is spiritually stronger than the wife; that's why he should obey God, while his wife should obey him.

God gave women husbands because they're incapable of discerning his will for themselves; they need husbands to act as "priest of the home" and be their go-between.

Wives are more easily deceived than husbands; that's why they should trust his judgment over their own, keep their mouths shut, and obey him even if their intellect and instincts are leading them differently.

LIES, LIES, LIES!

Thank God that neither my husband nor I are trapped by these lies any longer, and that our marriage is able to grow as God intended it.

Paul, Priscilla, and Phoebe

2008-01-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered this wonderful article about women ministering in the church, based on the words of Paul. It discusses the gender biases of the translators, in terms of women ministering, and it does it with a simple word study of Paul's writings.

I used to think the Apostle Paul was a misogynist, but after doing a shipload of research, I'm discovering that he really wasn't. His translators were.

Enjoy the article; if anyone's interested, I'm adding it to my ever-growing list of links in the sidebar.

My Marriage Testimony

2007-10-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share here what a large part of the impetus was for me to start researching all that Greek that I've referred to in earlier posts, about how husbands and wives should relate to each other. The impetus was my own marriage.

First of all, my husband suffers from clinical depression. He's usually okay when he's medicated properly, but sometimes he builds up a tolerance to the medication and it simply stops working. His depression isn't expressed as sadness or feeling "down" -- it's expressed as anger. All anger. He is usually the most laid-back man around, but when he goes into a depression all bets are off. He has never been violent to me or our son, but he starts fantasizing about random violence to strangers... ALL the time.

Anyway, it was during his last MDE (Major Depressive Episode) that we actually started to work all this stuff out. When we first got married, he was a new Christian and had never been exposed to "Christian" sexism before, and I had been attending a secular university for 6 years. We married as equals and functioned very well that way. If anything, I made more of the decisions simply because of the two of us I'm the more "Type A" -- he just doesn't care about the same stuff I care about, or as much. It worked out very well for us.

Then I got involved with a patriarchal church and a couple of spiritually abusive message boards. Hearing the message from all these sources that we were in sin and shirking our God-given responsibilities made us start questioning our relationship. Even though it goes against the grain of both our personalities, we gave in to the "peer pressure" of the church and decided that we should try to be more like we were being taught husbands and wives should be like; that we should fight our "sinful" personalities and sublimate them so that he could "lead" us and I could "follow".

So I backed off. When we had to make a decision, I would do all the research and legwork required, all the information-gathering, and then present it to him and he would make the decision.

When he got angry and yelled at me, or at our son, for no reason, I "submitted" and tried to be self-effacing. I did what he asked me to do. I ventured opinions, sure, but always left the final decision up to him. According to the teachings of our church, the people on those forums, and the likes of Debi Pearl, our marriage was finally "in line with God's will."

Living like that caused so much grief and discord in our lives and household that we very nearly split up. It even affected our sex life. He would get angry, actually angry, when I tried to initiate, an HE never initiated anything at all. The results of some of his bad decisions came back to haunt us, and knowing that he was the one who had made them made him even more depressed. Mind you, those few times when we had both done the info-gathering and decided things together, those decisions had great results! But living like that, with him being the boss and my unilateral submission, nearly killed our marriage... and definitely did kill our joy, love, and pleasure in each other.

It wasn't until I lovingly told him, "The next time you snap at me or our son for no reason, I'm taking him out of the house and you won't get to see us for the next [span of time]," that he discovered lo and behold! He didn't HAVE to yell and berate us all the time! (Thank you, Cloud & Townsend!)

He hadn't wanted me to even bring up the topic of medication for his depression, so I hadn't. Until things got so bad I just decided "This is insane. I'm doing everything according to God's will and not being rewarded for it. If not submitting is a sin, then I'll by golly sin and take the consequences for it, but I'm not going to continue like this anymore."

About the same time as I made that decision, my husband (during an angry outburst) told me he didn't WANT a submissive wife anymore! He loved the wife he used to have, doggone it, and why couldn't I be her anymore? If we were going to go against God's will in going back to the way we were when we married, then if he was the leader, he'd take the consequences for it, but he wasn't going to continue like this anymore.

Hmmmmmm.

So after that, I started mentioning his medication more often. As I said, he NEEDS antidepressants in order to function at a human level. He'd been off his meds, or on the wrong ones, for a long time. He didn't like hearing that he should go back to the doctor and get new ones, but I kept mentioning it and kept mentioning it persistently (and lovingly) until he did. A month later it was almost like I'd gotten my true husband back.

Worried that now that we were being true to our own personalities and each other's desires, we were outside the will of God, we started to research and study the scriptures about it...

Only to discover that what we'd been taught was the "will of God for marriage" was only the teachings of our church for marriage... and that God's will is something VERY different. Not only that, but it was something of a "duh" moment when we realized God gave us our personalities, too! And we had been rejecting that gift thinking we were more in line with his will by calling them sinful. God made us this way for a reason, and it was very wrong of us to try to preempt God and tell him how he should have made us.

That's our story. We walked together through the valley of the shadow of patriarchy, and God be praised, came out egalitarian on the other side. Hallelujah!

Further Thoughts on Husbandly Headship

2007-09-27T15:22:00.001-07:00

My good friend on TMB, Dena, posted this idea once in a thread talking about the husband being the "head" of the wife, and whether that entailed authority over her or not, and if it entailed any authority at all, what would it look like? The thread got fairly heated as I recall, but I stopped paying much attention when I read Dena's post. Literally -- her post was so thought-provoking that I had to walk away from the computer and think about it for an hour or so. And the best part is, she discusses authority in the church as well as in a marriage. Here's what she had to say (with emphasis mine -- pay special attention to it, at the end!). Check it out!

Within the house church, we don't have titles, or positions, or offices... we have individuals whom God has called to various functionings... those who function as deacons (practical servants), those who function as elders (spiritual servants), those who function as teachers, shepherds, evangelists, prophets, apostles...

None of them are "over" anyone else... they're servant-leaders (servants who lead by example). There's no hierarchy -- just Jesus as Head, and all the other brothers and sisters functioning, as called, under HIM - in unity.

They don't have "special rights" to be above anyone else... but they do have "special responsibilities", as called by God, to serve others in their various capacities. We don't so much submit to the person, or the position, or the title... we submit to the calling that the Lord has on that person...! Because that calling is for the blessing of the rest of the Body -- it's the Lord Himself, working through that person, and it's really to HIM that we're submitting!

And the PURPOSE of their servant-leading is to bring the whole of the Body into full, functioning maturity -- to reflect Christ.

So, within marriage, God has called the husband to a particular responsibility ... he's usually larger, stronger, and therefore more able to be a protector of the wife than vice versa. He's designed by God to focus, to zero in, to concentrate, on one specific thing (while the woman is more global, balancing several things at once - each has it's strengths and weaknesses), and to take initiative in a particular direction.

We're designed to work in concert -- not with him as the "boss," but with him making a way for me to go (as he would if he were literally leading me through a dense forest/jungle... getting rid of the obstacles, making it easier for me to navigate.

Perhaps, since this world, the cultures, even the historical Church, tends to be suppressive of women, and God would know this would happen, as a result of the Fall, He designed men with the task of creating an environment for his wife to thrive... to protect her, to lift her up, to encourage her, to present her to others in a way so that others would respect her and receive what she had to share... so that she wouldn't be sidelined...?

It's not because I'm "less than", it's because the enemy has sought to destroy the influence of women, and thus, my husband's responsibility is to present me as a person worthy of equal honor in the Body ...

And, I'm to submit to what the Lord has called him to do... to not get in the way, but to cooperate with what He is doing.

Because the PURPOSE of the husband's servant-leading is to bring the whole of the marriage into full, functioning maturity -- to reflect Christ.

My previous research on "kephale" (Greek "head") showed me that it had a connotation of the husband as "point-man" -- the first one into battle. Physically speaking, this makes sense because men are nearly always physically stronger than women. But Dena points out that part of his job as protector might very well be to make sure she gets equally respected by others who might not otherwise listen to her.

Since Grey does an admirable job of that, and I adore him for it, I am definitely inclined to agree with Dena!

Thoughts on Authority

2007-09-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

Been thinking a lot about authority issues lately. I know that I have them -- "issues" (read: problems) with accepting someone's authority over me who in my opinion isn't supposed to have it. Especially among believers this seems to be a problem.

On one of the message boards I sometimes haunt, a poster called "Nice" has this to say: "I wanted to add my thoughts on...the difference between to have authority to do something and to have authority over somebody. I think there's big difference between these two...I think that when authority is being exercised, it’s always in some kind of context; usually an organization that contains some kind of hierarchy. Organizations and hierarchies can be either flat, vertical or both (in it's structure). Such “organization” could be the family, the workplace, the government, an association etc. It is often said that the biblical "organization" is the vertical; most often referring to the order of creation (genesis 1:28 and 1 cor 11:13 and also Rom 13:1 (that last scripture isn’t about the order of creation)).
But I think Jesus, He who himself is the Word of God, adds another perspective when he says

"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35)

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. (John 13:14)

“Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.” (Jesus talks about himself as if he was” the least” in heaven??) (Matt 11:11)

“The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Jesus identify himself with the least) (Matt 25:40).

Some say those scriptures are about the attitude we should have as christians, and I think that's right. However I do think Jesus turns the human perspective up side down. I wonder if this could mean that there is a difference between “to have authority over …” and “to have authority to ….” if you understand what I mean with that. The first one can only (I think?) occur in a vertical organization. The second may very well be exercised in a flat (and more equal) organization.
For example if you have a spiritual gift, let’s say, to prophecy, than you have a God given mandate to do so. The person who prophecy has an authority to do so, but does he has authority over them who are receiving the prophecy? Hardly. At least I don't think so anyway.
Another example is if you’re a doctor, then you have the authority to diagnose and treat people but you don’t have authority over them do you?

In a marriage, we have different roles. The husband have the authority to be the head but does that mean that he has authority over his wife? Well, not if they are equal. That would seem contradictory to me. The children however, we can say we have authority over because they aren’t adults. When one says women can’t teach men because then they will exercise authority over men, then one must consistently say that women cannot exercise any form of prophesying, teaching or caring or anything else where the man must submit to the woman’s ministry. However, it seems to me that the Bible contradicts that (Luke 2:36, Rom 12:6 fwd, 1 Cor 11:5 )...
We are all to serve each other with the amount of talents ("authority") we've been given. Matt 25:14

And for that to be possible... We must submit to one another!

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" Eph 5:21

Nice has hit the nail on the head here. She is talking about authority in a marriage, while I was talking about authority in the church, but the basic principle is the same. The pastor does not have authority OVER his congregants. He has authority TO... do what? Serve them. And yet how often does he serve them without lording it over them as well?

That's one of my biggest beefs with the institutional church lately: one person (a man) has charge over the whole group. He's the one who decides who is to speak when, what songs they'll sing, how everything will fit together, and he's the one who does the preaching.

This attitude of one man being in charge of everything is TOTALLY against scripture. As is the concept of one person doing all the preaching and teaching. The Bible tells us that "each of you" is to prepare a teaching, a song, offer a prayer, etc. and then take turns so that everything remains orderly. When's the last time you attended an institutional church where that happened? Even so-called "Bible believing" churches tend not to follow the format for gatherings that is laid out very clearly in 1 Corinthians.

Every believer is anointed, yes. Every believer is also an authority over every other believer, and is also to submit to every other believer.

Re Ephesians 5: I know I've mentioned this elsewhere on this blog, but I'll say it again: I discovered that in Ephesians 5, when it says wives should submit to their husbands, it's a continuation of thought in the previous verse: we believers are to submit to each other! It's not a separate thought at all, as I had been taught: it's the same word. It's not even a repetition of the same word -- that word is used only once, in the Greek, to cover BOTH the submitting to each other AND the wives submitting to their husbands.

That seems to say to me that all believers are to submit to one another -- wives in one way, and husbands in another. Husbands get to be the servant, "point man" and protector, and wives get to be the servant, strong rescuer (gen 2:18), and rule over the household (Prov. 31).

Key point there is that both partners are servants to the other. That is where TRUE authority lies: in serving. Not in taking charge.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2007-09-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

This just blew me away this morning. First of all, Scot and I "went to church" this morning (poor Grey had to stay home and get some sleep--he's been working 3rd shift for weeks now), to visit with some friends who've been raving about this church. On the way home, I was talking with Scot about it. Now, we haven't "gone to church" for weeks and weeks -- usually we go only when we start missing our friends too much... and while I'm on the topic, that business of "church isn't a social club" is for crap. I am coming to think that the social aspect is the ONLY reason to "go to church" at all! The teaching is usually questionable, being based as it is in church traditions rather than in scripture; the corporate worship is lovely, but that's part of the social/fellowship aspect of it; the prayer is great and so is the meet'n'greet time... but every single aspect of "going to church" that appeals to us has to do with the fellowshipping with the Body!

So Scot and I compared this church with the one we've been attending for the last three years, and concluded they were about the same. Neither one of us was wowed by them. So just on a whim, I asked Scot what he thought the best way to learn about Jesus would be. With no prompting or discussion of home churches in his hearing or anything, this is what he said (in his own words):

"I think that we should get a whole bunch of people who all love Jesus. And we should meet them at our house. Outside. When it rains hard, we should cancel the meeting. If it rains only a little, we can meet them inside. And in the winter, we can meet them inside, and all have hot chocolate while we're exploring the Bible a little."

He went on to explain that he thought the kids should go into a bedroom and do whatever they wanted, but that they could still come out and be with their parents if they wanted to. I asked him if there should be any singing (since that's one of the things he hates most about the church we attend; the singing is quite loud), and he thought for a long moment before deciding, "There should be some QUIET singing."

I asked him if there should be a sermon during the meeting, and he didn't think there should be. "But someone could teach a little, if they wanted to," he offered. "And someone else could pray."

Wow. I was blown away. Not only is this EXACTLY the sort of "church" that Grey and I have been absolutely longing for, for months -- but he outlined fairly accurately how 1 Cor 14 tells us a church meeting should be run!

We haven't talked to him much about any of this. Can he call it, or what?

Fruits of the Spirit and Dormancy

2007-08-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling over the "fruits of the spirit" lately, and recently had my whole study turned on its ear by a close friend who has studied literal fruit-growing in an orchard. I've been thinking about when you feel distant from God and not really "connected" and how that fits in with it, and my friend's information really helped me a lot.

Real fruit-bearing trees will have some years when they produce a lot of fruit... but during those years, they don't do any growing. Or not very much, anyway.

During the years that they do a lot of growing, they don't produce much fruit.

Not only that, but they need the winters, the dark, cold times when they're not producing OR growing much... in order to start growing again in the spring. If they don't have that dark, cold, dormant time, they won't be fruitful later on. There is no fruit tree in the world that produces fruit and grows all year round. God just didn't make them that way.

Fruit-growing comes in seasons of dormancy, fruit, and growth. Jesus lived in an agrarian society, and it is very likely the people he was preaching to, knew this. We have moved away from that sort of society for the most part now, and lost touch with what fruit-growing is really all about... and when our spiritual walk is compared to fruit-growing, we can sometimes feel very disheartened because we're not perfectly-producing Christians all year round. We do get times of discouragement, depression... and dormancy. But the thing to remember is that, in order to continue growing and bearing fruit, we NEED those periods of dormancy.

I know from experience, and from my husband's example, that a long period of feeling spiritually discouraged and disconnected frequently results in a whole lot of growth in a short span of time, once that period is over.

I found this thought very encouraging, and hoped some of my readers might like it as well.

The Old "Help-Meet" Rubbish

2007-08-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

This entry is a combination book review and Bible study.

I recently had the misfortune to read Debi Pearl's book Created to be His Help Meet. I had read bits of it before, excerpts, and also skimmed the whole thing; but recently I had the opportunity to read the entire book in-depth.

What a waste of four hours of my life. Honestly, I'll never get those four hours back, which would have been more successfully utilized in clipping my budgies' wings, or perhaps watching paint dry.

Extreme, I know... but so was this book. The general gist of it was that God created women to be a lowly servant to the man, and that we women can only find our true fulfillment in Christ by relinquish our own desires, skills, gifts, etc. and just living for our husbands. The author puts blame the woman for most of the problems in a marriage, and even goes so far as to say things like, "Have you done this? Well, shame on you!"

As if most women need even MORE things to feel shame over!

Most of all, her advice to women in abusive relationships is at best questionable, and at worst downright dangerous. Let me say it right here, plainly so that no one misses it:

If a woman is abused by her husband, it is always, always, ALWAYS, HIS fault and not hers.

There is NOTHING she can do that would "make" him abuse her.

If a husband abuses his wife, it is ALWAYS his conscious choice to... and it has NOTHING to do with whether or not she is "submissive" enough!

If you are in this situation, please get help and get out!

There, now that I've got that out of the way, I wanted to address the mis-translation that this whole book is based on. It is taken from the King James Version of the Bible, which I understand the Pearls use exclusively. The trouble with the good ol' KJV is that King James was Anglican, and he wanted to make SURE that this new translation of the Bible would make his subjects into good, obedient little Anglicans. So he made sure they put a distinctly Anglican spin onto it, including using cultural understandings of certain things, rather than going by what the scripture truly says.

The word that so many versions translate as "Help meet," "help mate," "helper," etc. is the Hebrew word "ezer." As it turns out, far from meaning "lowly helper" with a connotation of "servant," ezer has two root words which mean, respectively, "to rescue" and "to be strong."

So when God created Eve for Adam, he wasn't actually creating a servant. He was creating a "strong rescuer."

Not only that, but the other word that is part of that phrase -- the "mate" part of "help mate" is the Hebrew word "kenegdo" which is a word used only once in the Bible. Its meaning? Corresponding to, or opposite of. Used in other ancient Hebrew texts, it simply means "equal."

So we can learn from this that God created woman to be a strong rescuer of the man, and to be his opposite and complete equal. To correspond to him, to be parallel to him, and to complete him.

This was God's original purpose and intent for women. This was the way he created humans, for the male and female together to reflect His image... and then he said it was "very good." NLT even translates it as "excellent in every way."

And then they both had to sin and mess it all up -- and as part of their punishment (or possibly just a prediction; it is unclear in scripture), God tells the woman that her husband will dominate her.

Interesting, isn't it? that male supremacy entered the world when sin did!

Patriarchy was never God's original plan -- it's all the idea of sinful men who want to control and dominate. And sinful women, who want to be controlled and dominated, because they think this will please their husbands. Neither is scriptural, and neither is the way God intended a husband-wife partnership to be.

No matter what Debi Pearl says, her whole book is based upon a faulty interpretation of its most basic premise. With that in mind, I found very little in the rest of the book that was correct or useful either.

(The information about the Hebrew translations was taken from this article, and from the Net Bible. Check 'em out for yourself!)

Christian Apology

2007-08-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

Deconstructed Christian has tagged me for the Christian Apology (no, not apologia) that's been making the rounds. Here are the rules:

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Apologize for three things that Christians have often got wrong. Your apologies should be directed towards those who don't view themselves as part of the Christian community. Alternatively, apologize for things you personally have done wrong towards those outside of the church.
2. Post a comment at the originating post so others can keep track of the apologies.
3. Tag five people to participate in the meme.
4. If desired, send an email with the link to your blog post at the Christians Confess site, giving permission for your apologies to be added to the website.

MY APOLOGIES:

1. I am sorry that I've always been so worried about money that I haven't been generous with you. I've been so concerned with my self and my family, and whether we'd have enough for US, that I haven't been hospitable to you and your friends. I claim a faith that is marked by giving generously... and I've hardly given at all.

2. I'm sorry that I viewed "loving others" more along the lines of "being a good example to you on how to live," with its requisite self-righteousness of course, instead of actually showing you genuine love and caring. I've been so concerned with doing everything "right" that I've gotten most of it totally wrong.

3. I'm sorry I have judged you by standards that you don't hold for yourself, and have found you wanting and condemned you. I'm sorry that I have not accepted you the way you are, met you at your own level, and really been your friend.

Now for the people I want to tag? Hmmm... let's see...
I'd love to see what
Sensuous Wife,
Sascha,
Robin,
Faintnot,
and Eleutheros (if he ever decides to blog)
have to say about it.

Don't Complain, Unless You Can Offer Something Better

2007-08-05T17:44:00.000-07:00

I have been complaining quite a bit lately about churches in general and my church in specific. I've been talking about how little actual give-and-take there is, how much division -- not only doctrinally, but between age-groups -- how much sexism, and how little genuineness there is. Or even how boring it is to always follow the same formula, and how hard it is to actually "get something" from the sermon every week -- while at the same time being prevented from ministering the way we feel called to do.

Well, as my grandmother once said, "Don't complain, unless you can offer something better." While I don't totally agree with her -- sometimes complaints are the only things that lead to making things better -- I have thought and prayed about it for a long time and have finally come up with something better.

Here it is:

When you gather for worship, each one of you be prepared with something that will be useful for all: Sing a hymn, teach a lesson, tell a story, lead a prayer, provide an insight. If prayers are offered in tongues, two or three's the limit, and then only if someone is present who can interpret what you're saying. Otherwise, keep it between God and yourself. And no more than two or three speakers at a meeting, with the rest of you listening and taking it to heart. Take your turn, no one person taking over. Then each speaker gets a chance to say something special from God, and you all learn from each other. If you choose to speak, you're also responsible for how and when you speak. When we worship the right way, God doesn't stir us up into confusion; he brings us into harmony. This goes for all the churches—no exceptions.

If this sounds familiar to anyone, that's because it's not really my idea. God had it first. This is The Message's interpretation of 1 Corinthians 14: 26-33.

I read this to Grey tonight, asking him to keep in mind our usual church-going rituals. I asked him, "When is the last time we gathered together with everyone having the opportunity to share a song, prayer, or teaching as he or she was led? And with no one taking over? He pointed out that our church, the "worship team" sings... and we listen to them and sing (always following their lead of course). Then someone else gets up and prays... and we listen to him and agree. Then someone might give a testimony... and we listen and applaud. Then the pastor gets up and preaches... and we listen. That's an awful lot of listening, my friends.

So when did being the Body of Christ become a spectator sport? All the references in the New Testament that I've ever found talk about how inclusive and involved the early believers were with one another, and how very much into giving, sharing, and mutuality they were. So why do we go to church and sit there like bumps on logs (or saints on pews) just to listen?

I've been studying 1 Corinthians for a while now, trying to learn about Body life. Here's another little gem that I've gleaned from it, also from The Message (1 Cor 12: 14-20):

A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. 19-24But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own.

So now that we've established that the order of service pretty much disempowers all the congregants to being a bunch of little ears, just sitting there and taking it all in -- what about the pastor? If we're the ears, he's the mouth. Is he the mouth of God? Hmmm. Now, there's a question, isn't it?

This morning my son and I actually went to church, to the same one we've been attending for three years. Our pastor got up and gave a little talk and as usual, he went off on a rabbit trail. He said, "There, that's a sermonette." Then he laughed and went on, "You know what you get when you have sermonettes, don't you? You get 'Christianettes.'"

Oh, I can't even begin to count the number of things wrong with that little joke of his. I'll try, though, because it bothered me too much to just let it rest.

1) Sermons make Christians.
2)Sermon-listening turns Christians from miniature ones to being full-size.
3) It puts the entire responsibility for spiritual growth onto the shoulders of the pastor.
4) It completely discounts the ability of the Holy Spirit to help Christians mature.
5) It diminishes all other aspects of Body life, making sermon-listening the only thing that helps Christians mature.

That's enough for now... and ordinarily I would just laugh it off as a joke of his... except this wasn't the first time I've heard it.

But while we're on the subject, let's talk about the pastor. Specifically, let's talk about the idea of a group of believers hiring someone to come and teach them week after week. Where is this idea found in scripture? Scripture shows us lots of examples of early believers sharing responsibilities equally -- each one according to his gifts, yes, but there is not supposed to be any external judging of gifting. No one person was supposed to be in charge of how things were run -- they were to depend solely upon the Holy spirit's leading to keep order... and the thing is, Paul tells us that if they do, then order is kept. No one else is supposed to be telling others to teach, or sing, or whatever; they're supposed to depend on the Holy Spirit's leading to prepare something for themselves, to share with each other.

There's that "each other" phrase again, implying mutuality, turnabout, and deferring to one another. Grey and I were wondering today just how that would look, in our church. The pastor is very much in charge. He shares the responsibilities with three elders (two now, since one moved away), but with this church so heavily into the unscriptural "Covering" doctrine, everything has to pass by him and receive his OK before it becomes part of the "order of service." So really, he's doing the Holy Spirit's job. And he's also doing the congregants' job, whose responsibility it is to bring the teaching. And with him putting his head together with the worship team, they're doing the congregants' jobs as well, who are supposed to be the ones preparing and bringing hymns and songs for the corporate worship.

No wonder the poor man's burned out. Not only is he doing the job of 50 people, but he's doing God's job too!

And yet, if I were to tell him this, it would be considered borderline heretical.

The Rules of Christianity

2007-07-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that there are certain things that Christians tend to do and say, mostly for the purposes of having other people know that they are Christians. There is a whole big expectation of things that Christians are "supposed" to do. I grew up in the Conservative Baptist church of the USA, so for years I was taught that you couldn't drink, smoke, dance, or listen to secular music (heaven forbid it be rock'n'roll!) and be a Christian. Had to have a "daily quiet time," and it had to be first thing in the morning. Had to have a ready answer to the Christian school principal's question of "How's your walk with God lately?" and God forbid it be anything except a verbatim quotation of the scripture that you'd read that very morning.

Christians are supposed to be involved with politics, but nothing as messy as giving a home to an unwed mother, adopting a child, or donating one's time or money to the Crisis Pregnancy Centers. No, it's much easier to simply picket outside the abortion clinic, and say ugly things to and about women who wear "I Had an Abortion" t-shirts. One of my closest childhood friends had an abortion, and she tells me it was the hardest thing she'd ever done -- not least because of the stigma and ostracism she knew she would face if she ever returned to the Christian community (which, to date, she has not done). She did tell me that my reaction of heartfelt sympathy went a long way towards helping her to heal from the wounding she experienced from other Christians about it.

Christians are supposed to show gay people the love of Christ, but at the same time make sure they know at all times what abominable sinners they are. Sure, put a huge weight of guilt, shame, and condemnation on 'em -- that'll lead 'em to Jesus for sure!

Lately there have been things added to the list of rules: Christians don't read Harry Potter. This reminds me of a very funny story about when my pastor and his wife came over to dinner once, and she was talking a mile a minute while he was perusing our bookshelves (don't ask me why). He noticed our boxed set of the Chronicles of Narnia, and drew her attention to it.

"Oh, what a great series that is!" she exclaimed, beaming. "Ever so much better than that nasty Harry Potter series--those books are nothing but occultic! Christians ought to have NO truck with the devil!" she told me with a wide smile and a decisive and self-righteous nod.

With a sweet smile, I pointed to our entire set of Harry Potter books. "Those are one shelf up," I told her. She changed the subject rather gracelessly, and I tried not to laugh. I doubte she has ever read any of them.

(I can assure you that my obsession and admiration for Professor Snape does not negatively impact my faith at all; in fact, with my great fondness for redemption stories, I think he illustrates the concepts very nicely.)

So it's apparently part of the rules that Christians have to have other people do their thinking for them. They aren't allowed to read books that other Christians say are bad; they aren't allowed to watch movies with any sex, swears, or nudity (although violence seems to be universally accepted; I wonder why the double standard?); they aren't allowed to do, say, think, or experience anything for themselves that they've heard other Christians say are bad for any reason.

The upshot of this is that Christians seem to have their own little sub-culture wherein they can stay happy and comfortable -- and be perfectly worthless and useless to the outside world around them. And woe to any Christians who break the "rules" -- they get castigated by all the rule-followers and accused of not even being Christians. It's as if, to be a Christian, you're supposed to just ignore all the ugly and gritty aspects of living in the world, in favor of keeping up appearances and pretending everything is fine. And if you don't pretend everything is fine, then you ARE the problem.

Might as well move to Pleasantville.

8 Things

2007-07-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

I don't usually do these sorts of things, and I want to make another church-related post, but my brain is mush lately since my uncle's death last weekend. I have way too much on my mind and verging on a nervous breakdown, so I'll make this one a light entry, especially for Alise who said she thought an "honest" list would be interesting. I just won't tag anyone else.

The rules: Each player lists 8 facts or habits about themselves; the rules of the game are to be posted first; at the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and goes to their blogs to leave a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged.

You ready for this, Alise?

1) I make beaded jewelry, and absolutely love it. I even gave up crocheting and knitting for beading -- gave away all my hooks, yard, and needles to make room for my beads. When I figure out a way to take a good digital picture of them, I'll be putting them up for sale on Etsy.

2) I like cats very much, but only shorthairs. I like dogs a whole lot, but only large breeds -- the small one are just too dang yappy and puntable to be good companions. But my favorite animals are horses; I've wanted one since I was three years old. Haven't been able to get one yet. My current pets are a pair of little boy blue budgies. Cute, but not in the same league as a furry pet.

3) I stay up too late, sleep too late, work on the computer too much, am not organized enough, and have an absolute HELL of a time dealing with paperwork. I currently work as a caregiver for a developmentally disabled man who is a friend of the family, but I don't enjoy it very much. Having to pick him up and drop him off every day, having to fill out reams of paperwork for every day I work with him -- well, let's just say it's not what I want to do when I grow up.

4) I used to be conversational in American Sign Language. In high school I studied it, worked as an interpreter for the Deaf folks at my church, and when I graduated I planned to study to become a Certified Interpreter for the Deaf. Unfortunately, I was working as a cashier during this time, and all the repetitive motions from signing and ringing register ended up burning out my wrists with tendinitis and I had to start planning for a new career.

5) I've lived in two other countries, one short-term and one long-term. As a teenager I lived in Jamaica for a couple of summers while my parents did missionary work, and as a married adult with a child, I lived in the Netherlands for a year while my husband fulfilled his computer contract. I had an odd situation arise with a Jamaican friend of mine, which led to my not returning since then. But I absolutely loved living in the Netherlands, or would have if I hadn't had Post Partum Depression at the time. Having got over it now, I would love to return and live there again... but my French friend wants us in France or Belgium instead.

6) I love to sing, took 2 years of voice lessons, and am told I sing well. The voice lessons first began because my three years of piano lessons... simply didn't "take." My teacher and I were both frustrated, and when I started just singing a piece instead of playing it, she just looked at me with this speculative gleam in her eye and told me she was going to talk to my mother about my taking voice lessons instead.

7) I'm a writer who got my start in the shady and disreputable world of fan fiction. I have written stories based on many different universes ("fandoms"): Star Trek, Hannibal Lecter, Harry Potter, and Buffy, to name just a few. Not to mention the Phantom of the Opera, which is in the public domain and therefore fair game. One of the "Phantom" stories I wrote a couple years ago, I have revised and am planning to publish as a novel this fall. After that, I've got to get back and finish up some of my unfinished fanfics, so my readers will stop buggin' me! :)

8) I like sushi. Salmon sushi is my favorite. I also like seafood in general: my idea of heaven definitely contains de-shelled lobsters, steamers, shrimp, scallops, and salmon. I also really like brie smeared on crackers. Moose meat is a newfound favorite, and I really like brined chicken. Strawberries are divine, and apples with peanut butter are a very common snack around here. My all time favorite thing to consume, though, would have to be fresh, raw milk from the farm. Grey calls me a "dairy slut," and he's not far wrong. I would live on nothing but milk, if I had to, and be quite happy.

There, there are my eight things, and if you were expecting brevity from me, Alise, then you really don't know me that well. ;)

Legalism and Freedom

2007-06-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Legalism is all about rule-following, especially in a religious sense. The undertone of the idea is, the more rules you can follow, and the harder it is to follow them, the better "Christian" you are, and the more "religious" you are (well, I can't argue that last one, actually, but just being "religious" is never a good thing).

But think about this: Christianity as a whole, the entire concept of being a Jesus-follower, is based on the Bible.

Here's a direct quote from the Bible, from the Man we all claim to follow religiously: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

Now, although a lot of people (including Christians) seem to think that Christians aren't supposed to use their brains, I assure you I've thought a lot about this. I've turned that statement on its head, inside out, and run it backwards... and you know what I've figured out?

That the converse of it is also true: If a certain belief or opinion isn't setting you free, then guess what?

It ain't the truth!

Jesus wants His people to enjoy the freedoms that He died to give us: freedom from sin, freedom from bondage to anything or anyone but Him (and he has even told us that the "burden" of following Him is easy, and the "yoke" he puts on us is light), freedom from being bound by the letter of the law. He even tells us not to allow ourselves to be bound up by the laws of others (government excepted)!

So can someone tell me WHY some people consider it their bounden duty to try and make other people follow their personal convictions as if they were laws? We're not bound to follow man-made rules--we're meant to follow Jesus alone.

To do anything else is unscriptural... just as unscriptural as their trying to impose their rules on us in the first place.

That Offensive "S" - word

2007-06-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

Tell any intelligent, modern, non-Christian woman that if she accepts Christ she will have to start submitting to her husband, and she will very indignantly tell you where to stick your "submission." Crumpled up so it's all corners first, just exactly how far in, and sideways.

And very rightfully so.

Being an intelligent, modern, Christian woman, the daughter of teachers, I must confess that I had a similar reaction. Then after getting involved with a certain extremely conservative message board, I came under "conviction" that I'd been all wrongheaded about it, and began "submitting" to Grey the way they told me I should have all along. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't a slave, and I was still free with my opinions and all, but I began leaving the final decision-making up to him the way the church told me I should. (Note: this is a classic example of "false conviction," which is that state in which you're hearing nothing about the issue from the Holy Spirit, but plenty about it from people who speak with enough authority that you start to wonder if they're right. They almost never are!)

Well, he hated it. The pressure started building up more and more in him, until finally he blew up like Mt. Vesuvias (and if you know Grey, you know he is NOT usually an angry or violent fellow) and demanded that I STOP submitting to him. He wanted his wife back, the equal partner he had married.

Feeling like he was asking me to go against the Bible, I tentatively started speaking up more, making more decisions, that sort of thing... and I also began researching the submission issue on my own. The more I delved into it, the more I realized that I'd been sold a bill of goods by the church. Submission means nothing like what I'd been taught: it isn't subjection, obedience, or anything that even implies bowing to authority. Here's what I came up with:

The Greek word for "submission" in the Ephesians 5 passage is "hupotasso," and it has two meanings. One of them is military, and it means "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". Yes, I know this does sound like obeying authority, but hear me out. The other meaning of "hupotasso" is a non-military one, and it means: "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

You show me the couple whose marriage is based in the military, and I'll show you an unhealthy marriage. I think it's safe to assume that we can go with the non-military meaning here, given above: which, if you think about it, sounds like a recipe for a very healthy marriage instead of one based in the concepts of commands and obedience.

It gets better. You'll notice it mentions "assuming responsibility," doesn't it? This tells me that submission has much more of a connotation of helping by shouldering part of the load than it does of accepting someone else's commands. Assuming responsibility is something a leader does, is it not? And yet, that's one of the definitions of "hupotasso." So, Biblically speaking, wives are to "submit," among other ways, by leading and assuming responsibility.

Hmmm. Doesn't sound much like obedience or subjection to me. But hey, don't take my word for it: one of the Greek lexicons I used to look this up is located here. Feel free to check it out for yourself.

And just for fun, after I worked out the whole "submission" gig, I wondered hey, what about the passage that says the husband is head of the wife? What's up with that, if we're not talking about an authoritarian relationship? Here's what I found out about that:

The Greek word used there for "head" is "kephale." I checked it with a secular Greek-English lexicon and discovered something surprising. In all the different contexts of the word's use, nowhere does it come across as "leader" or "authority." Some definitions were: crown, completion, consummation, sum, total, head of man or beast, generally, top, brim of a vessel, source of a river, mouth; generally, source, origin, starting-point. (These ones were especially interesting in light of the fact that Adam was the "source" of Eve in a very literal sense: God made her out of his body.)

Most of these definitions apply to Christ's relationship with the church, but not a single one of them implies authority. I especially like the ones that mention crown, completion, and sum total; if this is what the husband is to be toward the wife, then that goes along very nicely with 1 Cr. 11:6, which says that the woman is the "glory" of the man. One of the definitions of "glory" here is "a most glorious condition, most exalted state," and another is "magnificence, excellence, preeminence, dignity, grace."

That sounds like another fine example of Greek parallelism, saying the same thing in different words. The husband is the consummation of the wife, and the wife is the exalted state of her husband.

Here is an excellent site that explains this concept much more fully, and also goes more deeply into the Greek literary technique of parallel writing. Very interesting reading, it is! Now that I'm learning more about the scriptures in their original languages, I'm discovering all sorts of nasty little secrets that the translators have kept to themselves over the years, that the church has taught as doctrine for centuries.

Feminists and the Church

2007-06-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

In recent years, there is a huge schism between feminists and the church. Christians who believe in equal rights and respect for women are afraid to call themselves "feminists" because of hate-spewing bigots like Andrea Dworkin who literally gave feminism a bad name... and feminists who believe and worship Jesus are afraid to call themselves Christians because of misogynistic (and racist) bigots like Bob Jones and his ilk.

But in the roots of feminism, there were very close ties with the Christian community; in fact, the Salvation Army was especially active in promoting women's rights (and many of the first-wave feminists were active in the church as well). It seems that the first-wave feminists and the church of a hundred years ago were both a lot more enlightened than we are today.

Modern feminists, however, hate Christianity because it's so "patriarchal." The reason it is patriarchal is that there have been centuries' worth of wrong teachings concerning certain passages mostly penned by St. Paul. Women being silent in the church and not usurping authority over a man -- that was a directive for one particular church that was having a problem with the women shouting questions to their husbands (men and women didn't sit together), having them answered (loudly) by other women who didn't know any better than they, and just generally being disruptive. Women submitting to their husbands was essentially the same thing that husbands were being asked to do for their wives. Yet people have misinterpreted these passages for hundreds of years and used them to essentially enslave women through spiritual abuse.

What's happening, though, is that even in this modern age, churches are still preaching these mistaken views of women -- and it's proving a real hindrance to the educated, modern, thinking woman who doesn't know Christ.

Don't get me wrong -- many churches and pastors will spout the party line of Galatians 3:28. They'll say that men and women are equal in Christ, but that God has given them different "roles" -- to men, a leadership role, and to women, a subordinate, helping role. Umm... correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't sound too equal to me... or if it does, it's only equality in the Orwellian sense.

So when Christians start to witness to feminists, they have to be aware that feminists are even less likely to like Christianity because once the church starts telling them how equal they are in Christ -- "You're equal, but you've gotta submit to your husband. No, he doesn't have to submit to you; it's a one-way street -- but don't worry! You're really equal!" -- they're not gonna go for it.

They're not going to listen to anything that has to do with how "sacrificial" the husband's love is; they're going to hear "he gets to make the decisions," and "you have to do what he says." Not only that, but many churches would also say, "Oh, you're equal to men in Christ -- but you can't teach them anything; your ministry is limited to women and children. Maybe boy children if we're feeling magnanimous. But don't worry-- you're really equal!"

Might as well be sitting around chanting "Two legs, bad! Four legs good!" and "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

Orwellian church? I'll pass, thanks.

Missionaries and Respect for the Native Culture

2007-06-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

I found this comment on another blog, and it struck home for me. The commenter, Egana, said: If we were missionaries in a foreign culture, we would be very careful to learn the ins and outs of that culture for the sake of our representation of Christ to them. So how does one reconcile Biblical mandates and cultural expectations in ones own native culture, for the sake of the gospel?

If foreign missionaries go to school, classes, and have intensive, in-depth studies on how to relate to whatever culture they're going into -- and how best to introduce the gospel in that particular culture -- then why, oh, why, don't home missionaries have the same thing?

Considering that every single one of us is a missionary either home or abroad, we really must find a way to talk about Jesus without making the surrounding culture hate us. If missionaries have to make cultural adjustments abroad, then we should have to make them at home as well. What is the very best way in the world to share the gospel with other people? The way that Jesus Himself used: through relationships and friendships. We can't be afraid to make friends with the unbelievers, the way so many Christians are. Jesus wasn't afraid to. Why are we?

Also, foreign missionaries don't push their beliefs onto the natives. Why do we? They don't picket in front of the foreign city halls for the land to change its laws -- they know they are the foreigners, the guests, of that country. So are we, as believers in Christ. They work through befriending others and gradually introducing those people to Christ through their own examples and their own lives. So should we. They don't have smear campaigns complaining about the leaders of those countries; neither should we. They work, within their own circle of people, to change hearts through loving others. So should we.

I'm not saying that Christians shoudn't be involved with politics. I'm saying that in the USA, our involvement is all wrong. What good does it do to picket in front of an abortion clinic -- all it does is make people mad. Is that what we want them to think about people who follow Christ? It does far more good to actually befriend the young, unwed mothers; that way, not only do they actually get to see the love of Christ instead of seeing a bunch of self-righteous Christians yelling hateful things at them, but you also get a chance to offer them other solutions (Crisis Pregnancy Center, anyone?) that they may not be able to find on their own.

Why do so many pastors preach sermons on how much God hates homosexuality? News flash: God hates ALL sin. Luckily for us, he loves all the sinners, up to and yes, even including, the homosexuals. What good does it do to tell a homosexual that s/he's a sinner? Unless it's in the context of everyone being a sinner, and that everyone struggles with sin, but that God can save us from its ultimate consequences -- it does no good, and lately gets you called homophobic. It does a heck of a lot more good to actually befriend the gay people; get to know them, and demonstrate God's love for them; that way, not only can you justly and scornfully refute charges of hate speech, but also disproves the "homophobic" accusation. And even if they never come to Christ, you'll have made some good friends.

When I was growing up, I used to hear the catchphrase all the time: "Christianity isn't a religion; it's a relationship." Unfortunately, I did not see that relationship demonstrated very much as I was growing up. And now that I have grown up, I have come to realize that, alas, the Christianity that most of us are familiar with is a religion, and that there is far too little relationship of any sort involved with it.

Truly following Christ has nothing of the religion aspect to it. Truly followng Christ is ALL about relationships: us with God, and us with other people.

If you are not loving others, befriending them, getting to know them, and helping them "bear their burdens," then you're not really witnessing. And if you're not showing respect for the culture that you're a missionary in -- even if it's your own! -- then you're probably just turning people off.

They Day They Canceled Church

2007-06-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

I was talking about this topic with Grey again (strangely enough, it tends to come up on a weekly basis...) and we both agreed that our absolute favorite church service EVER was one time a couple years ago when we got a blizzard and "regular" church was canceled.

There were some who live in the building, and some like us who hadn't gotten the phone call about its being canceled, so maybe 17 or 20 people showed up. And stayed. And it was CHURCH, I'm telling you.

Someone had put on some praise music in the sanctuary, and there were a few people in there singing along and worshipping through music and dance (people who wouldn't dare to dance in front of everyone else). One person sang a solo for whoever was there to listen. There were three or four sitting off in a corner praying together. There were several out in the lobby, just chit-chatting.

That's where I was, and that morning I got to know one of the most amazing women in the whole church -- and she's kind of intimidating, so I would probably never have spoken to her on a regular Sunday morning. Some of the guys got to talking, and when one mentioned a repair problem that he'd been having, a couple others went off with him right then to help him fix it. Grey hung around chatting with us for a while, and went off with our son for a while, and then came back and sort of flitted from one group to another. Our son had a blast; he appointed himself unofficial babysitter for one of the other younger ones (he was only 5 himself), and kept reporting to the baby's mother what the baby was doing. Usually the two kids would have been in different classes (age-segregated), but that morning they both really enjoyed playing together.

Some of the folks in the lobby were talking about lighthearted stuff, and another little knot of people were doing Bible research into a point of doctrine that they were discussing.

It was all completely unstructured, no one was in charge, and we were all there worshipping and fellowshipping together. No one had to shush the kids, no one had to do any lesson plans or come up with a sermon, and people could come and go as it suited them.

As I recall, my antisocial husband and I ended up staying far longer than we've ever stayed for a church service before. He's usually one of those "first out the door" kind of guys. And when we left, we felt this sense of total spiritual satisfaction that I don't think we've ever been able to attain since then.

I swear, I would LOVE going to church if they would only cancel it every week!

The "Covering" Doctrine of Authority

2007-06-06T16:41:00.000-07:00

Our church is big into the concept of "covering." We wanted to offer a Crown Financial Ministries small group study to our fellow parishioners a year ago, but when I broached the topic to the pastor's wife (who is in charge of the majority of the ministries there), she took control of the idea. I had been thinking to meet in our home, but she said no, they'd rather have it there in the church meetingroom so they could have it under their "covering." They didn't want to use Crown materials, but instead use "HomeBuilder" materials instead, which apparently has a financial piece to it. She did offer us the chance to lead the finances class, but only in their building and using their stuff, and she specifically said it was so that we could be under their "covering." (Never once did she ask to see the Crown materials that we already had -- it was their way or the highway, it seemed.)

Last summer they did a whole big video series, 3 months' worth, called "Under Cover" by John Bevere. The whole point of it was all about respecting the authority which God has placed over you -- which is all right and good -- but then he said that the church (read: pastor) is the principle authority that God has placed over you.

He said that pastors should be obeyed; the example our pastor came up with was that if he asked all the men to wear Hawaiian shirts to church on Sundays, and they didn't have a spiritual, Biblical reason not to, then they should all wear them. Because he, the pastor, was placed in authority over us, and we owed him our respect and to a certain extent, our obedience.

To me, that smacks of cultism, to be quite honest.

Whatever happened to God's being our authority?

Another thing: I know several pastors and their wives in real life, and they all say that they can't have real, deep, open friendships with people in their congregation. They can't "confess their sins one to another" unless the "one another" is a bunch of other pastors. Why not? Because it undermines their authority for people to think that their pastor struggles with the same sins they do. This is a perfect example of "authority" coming between people. In order to keep their authority, they must show a different face to their congregation than they do to their group of pastor-friends. When they should be concentrating on building relationships (loving your neighbor as yourself), they concentrate on saving face.

People call pastors "shepherds" and the congregation "sheep." But really, isn't the pastor just another sheep and Jesus is the Shepherd? You can't have equality between people when one of them is constantly set up above the other as a spiritual authority. It's one thing if they take turns: If I go to another congregant and ask for counsel, then for that moment she has spiritual authority over me... but at the same time we're still peers, in that I can choose whether to follow her advice or not. AND by the end of the conversation we're back to being peers again. And then she might need counsel from me.

If I go to the pastor for counsel, I go as a supplicant, someone who is constantly "lower" than he is. His advice has the ring of authority to it, and there's usually a strong undercurrent of "you must do *this* to be in the will of God," where the peer would more likely say "you must pray and figure out for yourself how to be in the will of God." And after my counseling session with the pastor, he's still the one in authority over me, and I'm still the supplicant. There's no equality there. He's never going to ask advice from me. There's no submitting one to another there, as Ephesians 5 directs us to do.

Now, a huge part of the church idea of "covering" is also protection, as I mentioned already -- specifically in this case, protection from spiritual error. Yes, the pastor's word will carry the ring of authority, because he wants me to follow his advice and wants to protect me from error...

But isn't it the Holy Spirit's job to protect us from error? And if I have this man, even as a pastor, as a "covering" -- an intermediary between me and God -- it seems as if he is trying to do too much. He's trying to do God's job. If God wants to teach me something that our pastor's ordaining denomination does not believe, then the pastor would actually be protecting me FROM GOD, wouldn't he? (And yes, there are a few issues where I suspect this is the case)

I do agree that we need teachers of the scriptures, yes. But do we need one person who is constantly in authority over us, who can't allow himself to be real with us, and who essentially comes between us and God? Whether it's authority, protection, or whatever, his "umbrella" is still between us and God.

The more I think about it, the more the concept of "covering" seems like

a) control, as in wanting to keep control of the congregation and what is taught and all, and...

b) fear and lack of trust in God -- that God won't be able to correct any possible errors that may crop up.

I see it at our church -- our pastor and his wife are very, very busy people, because they have so many ministries going on. However, they don't delegate as much as they should, because they want to stay in control of what's going on -- and they call it keeping us under their "covering."

Disclaimer: No, I'm not bashing pastors in any way; I know they work hard and can get burned out and most of them do a great job. I'm just complaining about the concept of "covering" that some of them teach. All too often I've heard people use that word when it really meant "control."

(The Baptist church I grew up in called it "male leadership" and was a lot more subtle about it... but there still weren't any women heading up any church ministries.)

It seems as if I am embarking on wilderness journey here, questioning things I've been taught by one church or another. The doctrine of "covering" just strikes me as wrong, in the sense that I've been taught by our pastor and his wife. It's like saying that Jesus' sacrifice wasn't enough; we still need go-betweens, between us and Jesus.

And here I thought the curtain of the holiest of holies had been torn all down the middle -- it really seems as though the "covering" people want to sew it back up again. Whether the covering is supposed to be the husband, for a woman, or the church/pastor/elders, for the husband -- they still get between us and Jesus.

I've also heard it taught (I think I've mentioned this before) that they view it as protection, to help protect you spiritually from demons, from false doctrine, etc. Well, for many many people what it actually protects them from is directly experiencing God's grace and presence!

I have the Holy Spirit inside, to protect me from false doctrine... I have the authority of Jesus' blood to protect me from demons (and again, the Holy Spirit to help with discerning them)... and I don't need anything getting in the way of my access to God.

Covering is starting to sound like a euphemism for "control" to me.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure the Holy spirit should be the only one in control.

I Have Ceased Being a Regular Churchgoer

2007-06-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

This isn't a blog full of complaints about my church, because in all honesty I don't think that particular church, or pastor, or whatever is the problem. It's more that I've pretty much had it with the traditional "sing a while, have announcements, sing some more, have a testimony, sing some more and take the offering, and then sit down and listen to a 40 minute sermon about things that have nothing to do with what you face on a daily basis" angle of church. Where's the participation? Where's the connection? Where's the interaction, the sharing, the serving that the New Testament talks about?

We haven't stopped attending completely; we make it maybe every 3rd week or so. But it's more and more of a chore, and it's just basically so we can squeeze in a few minutes with our friends that we don't get to see during the week. And a new church is not the answer. In talking about it we don't think changing churches is going to help. Grey mentioned elsewhere that the traditional church in the pointy building just isn't working for us anymore. And our church meetingplace isn't even pointy! Mind you, they want to build a pointy one, which is part of the reason we're not happy there. When a church gets big enough to need another building, it is NOT time to build a bigger building. It's time to plant a new church! Honestly, I think it's more a point of pride with pastors, to have a bigger church, than it is a thing of them being better able to serve their congregation. Pride and control -- I've seen that in almost every church I've been in. There may be a possible exception with our current one -- I don't know if our pastor is prideful or a control freak (though I know his wife is) -- but if not, he's definitely misguided.

And when's the last time you pointed out a doctrinal error to a church pastor and he changed his mind? Nope. Doesn't happen. For the most part, they believe in whatever they were taught at Bible college, and if you disagree it's because you have it wrong. There are some who will listen to you and study it out for themselves (the pastor of the small non-denom we attended for a year, for example -- he ended up disagreeing with me, but I deeply respect the fact that he studied it for himself. He did end up in a different place from where he had begun, at any rate!). But mostly they'll just tune you out. Listening means they have to think, and most people don't seem to like to think for themselves whether they pastor a church or not.

Then again, I've also been thinking and reading about how un-Biblical the position of pastor is, too -- at least, the idea of "pastor" that we have: the man who leads the church and who preaches every week. Show me that in scripture, eh? And then tell me where it says the pastor is any more important to the function of a church body than the prophet, or the teacher, or the helper? But that's another blog for another time.

Some friends have mentioned the house-church idea, and honestly I think I'm leaning in that direction -- but there again, how do you track down a group of people who only know about it by word-of-mouth? And more to the point, how do you know it's not one of those creepy cultish groups that wears headcoverings and don't allow the women to speak? Or that worship Michael Pearl, or that think it's somehow holier to follow Old Testament Laws? (Hm, I wonder just how many of them keep a "menstrual tent" for their women?)

(Or maybe they just WISH they did!)

After the disappointment of my aunt's JW "memorial service" (which was about 3 minutes of the minister talking about her, and about 42 minutes of him explaining JW doctrine about death), I reached a real low point with religion. Basically, I've had it with religion. I don't want it anymore. I want a Mike Yaconelli-style "Messy spirituality," that isn't bogged down with what other people think about religion. I want Jesus, but I want Jesus without all the religious crap.

I want to be Jesus to people, to the best of my ability, and if that means never darkening the door of a pointy building again, then I'm all over it.

Seems like frequently, the traditional "church" does more harm than good these days anyway. We have to figure out a way to relate to the "unchurched" people -- like Jesus did! -- or else we're going to be useless in the new century. Worse than useless -- damaging.

If anyone's interested, here are some book recommendations that'll give you an inkling where I'm coming from:
Messy Spirituality
Who is Your Covering? A Fresh Look at Leadership, Authority, and Accountability
Sinners in the Hands of an Angry Church
So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore

Happy reading!